Memorable Summer

Do you ever have a period of time that you know will stand out in your memory for years to come? I'm living it right now. It's pretty obvious why, I suppose. Being a working mom, I don't get the chance to be home all day, every day. My maternity leave is affording me just that chance and I'm lucky to have it fall in summer. With the new house and the great neighborhood and yard, we're having a great summer.... minus this week, with the insane desert like heat, of course. I do miss my work in some sort of perverted way. I guess you can't always have it all? But, I think knowing that I am going back in a month is making this time really count for me.

Because of my work, we have been able to keep Miriam on while I am home and I have to say, this has been the best thing ...ever. With her here to help me through the days, I've been able to either get away with Ethan for some 1:1 time or hole up in my bedroom with Ava for an afternoon of quality bonding time. I am even able to sneak in a few naps when Ava has kept me up during the evenings. I have to say, this maternity leave is leaps and bounds better than mine with Ethan. Given his preemie status, being a new mom and not having help made for a very tired, anxious Nicole. Not this time around. I am more confident in my parenting abilities and know that if Ava cries for a couple of minutes b/c she is not being held, I haven't scarred her for life. Ahhh, so much wisdom, yes? :)

So, me and the kids have spent our summer bonding. Ethan and I making frequent trips to the zoo. We are enjoying our backyard and the various swimming/wading pools and sprinklers and going for walks with Otis. It's not fair that men aren't offered more of a paternity leave...or one at all. With all of the drama leading up to Ava's birth, Jon had exhausted most of his vaca / sick time, so he never really got any real time off before going back to work. It's not right that he is not able to experience some of this as well. I'm trying to fit in enough for both of us...ha!

So, Ethan...man, surprising us every day. He's talking in sentences now...the things that he comes up with. He's recently learned left from right. Jon and I are still amazed by this and I am constantly asking him where his left ear is or right knee. It just doesn't get old for me. He also just recently decided that I am "mom", not mommy...what? Is he 12? Jon thinks it's funny and is trying to get him to call me Nic. augh.

With all this growing up comes the fight for independence, thus we are now often caught in a battle of wills. I never thought discipline would be my weakness, but I'm finding out...I'm not that good at it. hmmm. I feel like we're on some long extended holiday due to the fact that I get to spend this much time with him, so we make brownies and eat the batter or have ice cream in the middle of the day even though I know that it may ruin his lunch/dinner. I can't help myself, it feels like stolen time for us. In my defence, although weak as it may be, I am trying to get tougher though when he acts out. We've recently implemented time outs and they work surprisingly well on the little man.

Ava...she's just our chunky monkey. She is growing leaps and bounds. We have a drs appt for both the kids on Monday and we'll find out where she is. She was already at 7lbs right before mom and dad were here and that's been a month. I wouldn't be surprised if she isn't around 9 now. She breezed through her newborn clothes. I remember Ethan being in them for so long. I'll need to read back through the blog to see where he was at her age. We just got through a few days of some good night time sleeping! Last night being the best. She slept from 10pm - 4am. Hallelujah! I'm trying not to get too excited as I know she is young still and this probably won't become consistent for awhile. But, it was heavenly to get 5 1/2 hours of sleep uninterrupted. The only thing that I'm really worried about with the whole going back to work thing is her not sleeping well..thus me being a wreck. I do not work well with not enough sleep...I don't mean just professionally...for me, the act of living becomes a chore. I'm wired that way and my poor husband has to deal with the consequences ...I turn into a basket case. Anyway, early signs indicate that we'll be in pretty good shape come late August (crossing fingers now).

Ava has been a good baby so far over all. With her adjusted age, we weren't sure if her early calmness would be replaced by colic or just overall fussiness. But I think we've passed that crucial stage where this would have manifested itself. She does get a little fussy between 7-10pm in the evenings, but it goes away if you hold her. Ethan was like this, too, as I recall. It's a little bit of a juggling act as we're usually trying to have dinner and get Ethan off to bed when this all starts, so Jon and I have had to divide and conquer and the family dinner that we had become accustomed to with Ethan is now on hold until further notice.



Heading up to MN next weekend to stay with mom and dad. The Rosten's and Kuchynski's will be joining us for a couple of days. I'm so excited to see everyone!

Lastly, a nod out to the Nelson's, who welcomed their new baby daughter, Emelia, in late June! She is so adorable. Ava and Emelia were supposed to be 3 days apart so are close to the same size. I have a great picture of them, plus more of all of the kids, that we snapped over the 4th weekend that I'll upload soon. Stay tuned!

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Introducing Ava Michelle Koelsch

True to form, Ava's arrival was as dramatic as Ethan's. My kids sure know how to make an entrance! On May 9, Ava Michelle was born. She was 33 weeks gestation at the time. Leaps and bounds over Ethan's 26 week arrival, but still very tiny. She was 17 1/2" long and weighed in at 3lb 14 oz. Although little, she is happy and has been doing great. She is spending time in the NICU, but there are murmurings that she'll be home sometime next week.

While Ava came into this world small, but happy and healthy, I did not have such an easy time of things..thus the reason we haven't done a really good job of getting the word out about our beautiful little girl.

On Mother's Day, I started having upper back pain. I originally thought this was from laying in bed for a few days...being on bed rest and all in the hospital. I was up walking around more that Sunday, trying to alleviate the pain, when I started having pain in my rib cage area. Again, not suspecting anything serious, I chalked this up to gas pains from dinner and asked the nurse for something to ease my stomach. As the evening wore on, the pain increased.

I had trouble getting the nurse on duty to help me at all. She would leave my room not quite understanding that I was indeed in pain and needed something. Around 8pm, there was a shift change and the nurse that came on was a bit more concerned and seemed to get that this was no ordinary case of gas. She came in and sat with me and asked a bunch of questions. She was convinced something else was going on. Her first thoughts were that I was in contracting again and possibly having back labor, which I've heard is painful. She called the resident on duty and that's where things started going downhill.

The pain kept getting worse. I had sent Jon home earlier that evening to enjoy a good nights sleep as the couch in the hospital rooms were leaving him sleep deprived. I had to call him again and tell him to come right back in. We weren't sure what was happening, but something was definitely happening. Around 11pm, after 3 hours of pretty horrible pain (about an 8 for me on the 1-10 scale), the anesthesiologist was called and I was able to get an epidural. Sweet relief. I was moved back down into L&D and was hooked back up to all of the  monitors. I was dilated to about 2 cm at the time and contracting. Still, with the epidural, I was able to get some rest and soon fell asleep.

I'm not sure what time it was ...around 3am I think, the doctor on call came in and said he was questioning why I would be having such horrible pains in my upper back and rib cage...something wasn't right with him. He then ordered the nurse to stop the flow of pain medication (!!!!) and ordered labs to be done. I wasn't quite happy about the medication stoppage, but what could I do.

Around 4am, the pain was back and it was back in a big way. Jon was sleeping on his little cot and I had to wake him up just to hold me up in bed. It hurt to lay down...it hurt to sit up. I was able to find a little relief with Jon sort of supporting my at a 90 degree angle. It just kept getting worse...to the point that I started crying. I don't think I've ever cried from physical pain before, but it was pure hell and my only thoughts were that my doctor must be unusually cruel to let me suffer like that.

Finally the labs came back. I had pre-eclempsia. I would have to deliver soon. This was all still ok, as I was in labor. They gave me some pitocen to speed up the process and the doctor finally gave the ok to start the epidural again. Once all was back in order, Jon and I were able to get a little bit of sleep.

All was ok again. My doctor was back on duty that morning, so came in to check on me. She would be delivering and we were on baby watch. The epidural was in full swing. I wasn't feeling as good as I was when Ethan was born. Shell, Jon and I were playing a board game right up until they decided it was go time. I was a little shaky. I was feeling the contractions quite a bit. After a few hours of this the nurse asked me my pain level. I told her a '6'. She said I shouldn't be feeling anything at all and ordered another dose for the epidural to be injected directly. I had no idea. I thought I was supposed to feel something...and really, compared to the pain that I had felt throughout the evening, it was truly nothing.

The extra dose came none too soon. Dr. Belmonte came in and checked and said that I was dilated to 6 1/2 cm and ready to go. She broke the rest of the membranes and things went quickly after that! Ava was born after 4 contractions and approximately 10 pushes :)

This is when things for me took a bad turn. Ava was all good and getting cleaned up. Dr Belmonte and her resident were finishing up with me...things started taking a long time and I was starting to shake. After an hour, Dr Belmonte couldn't get me to stop bleeding. I don't remember much after this as I was in and out of consciousness, but it was determined that I had HELLP syndrome (http://www.preeclampsia.org/health-information/hellp). It can be life threatening and took all of us for a loop. Including my doctor. I'm just very lucky to have been where I was and have the care that I had.

As I mentioned, I'm fuzzy on the details after this. All I know is that around 10pm that evening, I was moved over to the surgical ICU just in case of the need for emergency surgery. It was all very surreal and it's the first time in my life that I actually felt that little twinge of fear that I might not make it.That night, I had 5 blood transfusions, 2 platelet transfusions and 1 plasma. Things stabilized for the most part the next day. I had regained consciousness. Although I couldn't move around, I was comfortable and able to stay awake for short periods of time. My test results were improving, but still not where they needed to be according to my doctors. I had one more blood transfusion and earned another night in the SICU.

By Wednesday afternoon, things were good enough to move me back over to Prentice, where Ava was in the NICU. I hadn't been able to visit her at all, but Jon and Shell were. I was a bit in shock on how little I could move around. It took every fiber of my being to sit up. I wasn't able to get out of bed. Getting back over to Prentice was nice as it was closer to Ava and less serious of an environment as ICU. Although, because things with my liver were still pretty serious, they were not able to give me anything strong enough to alleviate that pain. With HELLP, my liver had hemorrhaged leaving it bruised on two places and a lot of internal bleeding. I ended spending Wed - Fri night in ALOT of pain. It was an awful week to say the least.

By Friday, my liver enzymes had stabilized and all of my labs were trending in the right direction, so they finally ok'd me to have some real drugs for the pain. It was the best moment ever, I do believe, when that first dose starting kicking in. Soon after, I was walking around and able to walk up un-aided, to see Ava. By Saturday afternoon, things were good enough to be released. It's amazing how our bodies can recover. I still have a lot of healing to do...the fluids / blood needs to be re-absorbed by the body and my liver has to heal, but at least I can do this at home and get back to somewhat of a normal life.

Ava is still in the NICU. She is back at her birth weight (3lbs 14oz) and was put in an open crib. She is feeding well and has had no set backs and as mentioned, we could see her home as soon as next week.

Jon and I were not prepared for her early arrival, so have been spending time getting her furniture ordered and putting away all of the cute clothes that we've gotten from our friends for our pretty little girl. Jody had give us 4 boxes of clothes that her girls have out grown. I hadn't realized until Jon started unpacking exactly how much infant clothes can fit into 4 boxes!! Jon went out and bought 120 hangers and we still need more! :)

On Ethan news....he's been at the hospital twice to see his new baby sister. The first time, he liked looking at the 'baby'. But wasn't so happy to see Mom holding her. :) The second time was better and he says her name and says sister a lot. I think the transition will go pretty well overall. He's a pretty laid back kid.

 

We did turn his crib into a toddler bed this weekend! :) I can't believe my little boy is getting so big. He loves it and have had no real issues with this particular transition. The first morning, he was up at 5:30am much to my dismay. The 2nd night, he woke up at 1am and I heard him calling 'down'. I went in to find him sitting in the middle of his room looking sad and lonely. I picked him up with his favorite blanket and we sat in his chair cuddling for about an hour. He had long fell asleep, but it felt so nice holding him, that I didnt' want to leave. When I finally did, I laid him down and he didn't wake up until 7am. Normal time. This morning was very gray and rainy...so no sun. He slept until 7:30! So, all is well. He's such a sweet, good kid.

I'm hoping to be better with the updates this summer as I'm out on Mat Leave. It's already been nice to just focus on family and I plan to take advantage of this time off to spend as much time as possible with Ava, Ethan, Jon and Otis. Our little family is now complete. 

Coming sooner than expected!

On the way home from work on Wednesday night, our little girl decided to make a splash...literally. My water broke. All I could think was 'oh crap, here we go again'. I took the train home collecting my thoughts and putting together lists of what needed to be done. You'd think since Jon and I had been here before (even earlier!), we would be prepared. We weren't. With the move and both of us going through a busy season at work, our attentions have been everywhere but gearing up for the little bundle of joy that's been waiting to make her appearance...which was supposed to be on JUNE 20.

I got off the train and there was my little family, walking to meet me; Jon, Ethan and Otis all strolling my way. Otis goes nut-so to see me. Ethan has this new thing that when he sees me, he raises his hands above his head and squeals "MOMMY"...how can you not love that? Made me smile, although, I knew that our little worlds were about to change.

We walked home and I explained what happened to Jon. We calmly started getting our stuff together; got Ethan in front of Mickey with some Cheerios's and milk and made the call to Miriam to come get Ethan. We were in the hospital by about 8pm.

Things were looking a little dire at first. I started contracting and was having one every 1-2 minutes. They got the steroids out, brought in all of the doctors...My on call OB-GYN, residents, anesthesia, NICU...to explain the situation. We've been here. We knew the drill.

Good news: we are at 32 weeks. MUCH better than 26 with Ethan and a lot less risk of complications. Bad news: still not where you want to be. We were out of the major risks that Ethan faced, but there were still issues on lung dev, jaundice, eating and sleep apnea. With the contractions coming in so strong and being a bit dilated. The bets were on that I would deliver on May 5.

We made it through the night...contracting all of the time but no more dilation. Then, out of nowhere, the contractions stopped at 1pm on the 5th. Thank god! We are currently in a controlled stable state and baby is healthy. It looked like our alternative Cinco de Mayo name "Margarita Patron" was not to be.

Because my water broke, I'm in the hospital on bedrest until I deliver. The goal is to get me to May 16, which I would be 34 weeks. That is when the risks of a higher infection/complications outweight the postives of keeping the baby inside. I am on bed rest until then. Not too long from now. The good news is that I was able to receive all of the doses of the steroids to help speed lung development. From an ultrasound yesterday, the baby's at a really, good healthy weight of 4lbs, 5 oz. and she's active and strong. We're all in good spirits and Jon is spending his free time this weekend running getting everything out of storage and ready for the baby's arrival.

I'm already missing my little man...he's at Grandma's until we give her the word to come back when I start labor. He's in good hands, but it's hard to have him so far away, especially knowing that his little world is going to change forever when he does get home. And my other little man, Otis, is at the Malon's ...getting pampered and will probably never want to come home :) I miss them both. Such is life! And just so long we are all healthy and happy, we're all very lucky and have cause to celebrate!!

Ava Michelle Koelsch should be with us in the next week. We look forward to meeting her soon!

Thanks to all of our friends, family and the amazing people we work for and with. The support that we've received over the past couple of days is overwhelming and lovely. We are so lucky to have such a great support group around us.

We'll keep you all updated!!

Did he really say Mommy?

I was a little sad to come back to Ethan's page and to realize that the last time I posted, there were leaves on the trees, our header read 'summer edition' and Ethan and I were in swimsuits. Where the hell did the last 5 months go? I guess I just completely missed fall.

There is no way that I can give a good update on everything that has happened over the past 5 months. Ethan has turned into a full fledged little boy, where he tells us 'No' constantly and when we ask him why he has done something suspect, he puts his hands up in the air and answers 'Cuz'. I have a perfect picture that sums up how he manages to 'win'. That's the only way I can describe it. He is all energy and runs and runs like the energizer bunny. At some points, I give up. Case in point below, the picture is blurry as I took it with my phone and I really can't get a handle on how to take decent pictures with it, but I think you can get the gist...

Note the defeated dog just lying under the mess, Ethan looking victorious with purple crayon in hand about ready to color my couch. Yep. That sums up a lot.

A lot has actually changed in the Koelsch household since my last post. I've started a new job. It was a big step after being at Avanade for almost 10 years, but I don't regret it for a moment. I'm now working for a marketing agency out of Canada who primarily services the tech industry, with Microsoft being our biggest client. It's been a bit of an adjustment since I was their first full time US employee, but it's all well worth it and the work is rewarding.

We had a great 1st ever family vacation with the Kuchynski's and the Rosten's. Note: I've been vacationing with the likes of Kev, Shell and Pen for years now...and this is not how we usually roll. There were no late nights, long dinners or days wasted at a pool bar somewhere down south of the border, our usual type of vacation. Although, we were able to sneak in a happy hour or two by the lake, it was a lot of chasing two toddlers around and working around nap times. :) I, personally, could barely make it past 10 on any given night. God bless Shelly, who managed to do so and still had energy during the day. I don't know how she does it.

We had Ethan's first real trick or treating adventure and it was a blast. Jody and Keith, being new single family home home owners now (this is a rare thing in the city of Chicago), threw a party and we all met up, let the kids play and then set out in their neighborhood for some old school trick or treating. It exceeded my expectations. 1) they live in a fun, young neighborhood and all the neighbors were out and passing out candy. 2) it was a beautiful day/night, so nice to be outside running around. We couldn't have asked for a better time.

We did a trial run with his costume a couple of days prior and he cried like we were beating him when trying to put it on. We did not think we'd ever get him in it. But mom got creative day of the party... I got a handful of cookies ready and when I brought out the costume and he started to look like he would cry, I offered him a cookie, got his foot in the costume, offered him another cookie, pulled the costume up and got his arms in, another cookie, you get the picture. I was rather proud of myself, once on, he was fine and even let us put the monkey hood up. He was absolutely adorable if I do say so myself.

Ethan and I also made a trip up north to see Grandma and Grandpa. Ethan's first plane ride and my biggest fear; flying alone with a toddler. It went better than I had ever imagined it would, but that was mostly because I was surrounded by mom's and very nice MN women, who helped me 'manage' Ethan. We went in October and had unseasonably warm weather, so got to spend a lot of time outside. We even got Dad out to a Pumpkin Farm. ha! The highlight there was Ethan's cheek to nose encounter with a very gentle, very large horse. The horse was actually nuzzling Ethan. Ethan at the moment didn't seem to care, but everything after that was 'horse-y, horse-y'. Later that night, there were 3 deer in the yard at dusk, so I brought him out on the deck to see them. He proclaimed "HORSEY!" When I said, "No, they are deer", he looked at me with that look only Ethan can give you when he doubts what you say, nodded his head and stated "horse-y". that was that.

Ethan went to two other pumpkin farms in October. That's got to be a record of some sort. The one we brought him to in Chicago had goats. They were a hit.

So, for the biggest news of all in FY10. Ethan is going to be a big brother. :) His sister is set to arrive in late June. Although, he refuses to pay any notice when I try to tell him about it, he'll have to own up to it sooner or later. We're already stressing about our lack of space and may be giving the kids the master bedroom while Jon and I move into Ethan's very small room. But that's ok. We're thrilled. I haven't been feeling well. With the new job and the morning sickness / utter exhaustion, you can understand why I haven't been on top of the posts. A little girl! It's hard to wrap my head around at the moment. Sparkly stuff, I'm ready!

Here we are...right on top of Christmas. We are planning our travel extravaganza, which will take us to Grandma Koelsch's on Christmas Day. She has moved into a new home (exciting!) which is 4 hours away (not so exciting :)). We will then head towards MN for 4 days. Me, Jon, Shell, Ethan and Otis...winter road trip 2010. We have no idea what we'll do next year when we have the new addition to consider...will Shell be sitting in between two car seats with a fat puggle on her lap??? Stay tuned!

Ethan's new stuff: so, so much.We're very proud of him, he knows every letter of the alphabet and can identify numbers 1-14. He's been doing this for a couple of months now and I'm still amazed at how he can easily spout out letters and numbers. He loves watching Wheel of Fortune and will call out the letters. As I mentioned earlier, he's getting sassy with his No's and Cuz's, but it's not anything too terribly horrible. He's a pretty good kid overall. He says thank you  for everything; which is sweet. When he trips or falls, he always yells "I ok, I ok!'. Nice of him to let us know. There was the one time...actually right after the purple crayon picture was taken... that he rolled off the couch onto the floor yelling "I ok!" the whole way down to only whisper under his breath once he hit "Ow".

He loves Mickey Mouse and would watch all day if we let him. With the pregnancy, he probably watches it more than he should, but whatever, how much harm can Mickey do? He knows the whole cast of characters and yells their names when he sees them. 'Bickey! Pudo! Foofy!' it's pretty damn cute. I swear that's where he's learning a lot of stuff...he can identify harder shapes like cones and triangles (ti-agle), diamonds (di-oms)hearts and stars. Gotta love Mickey. And what a long way Ethan has come.

Of course, the biggest thing. He's FINALLY calling me mommy. I've been daddy for months now and out of frustration, started calling him "Brian". Of course, it was all lost on him. But the last two weeks, he's slowly starting to consistently ask for 'mommy' and it's like the best word in the world. Mommy. :)

OOODEN!!!

The annual summer trip to MN has come and gone. I look forward to it starting around February and I'm always sad when it's time to leave. The time goes faster and faster each year. It's harder these days since I have Ethan in tow...in so many ways. Harder to get there, harder to see all of my friends and harder to say good-bye once it's time to leave. Knowing it will be a few months until Ethan gets to see Grandma and Grandpa and a full year until he and Otis can have the freedom to play and run like they do when they are at my parents.

This visit was a good one. We had perfect weather the whole time we were there. Mom and Dad set up a play area for Ethan and we spent every day outside. He even came back with a little bit of a tan! (poor kid has my pale, pale skin). He started the trip a little uneasy on his feet on uneven ground, but by the end of the week, he was running around like a pro. Otis, as always, had the run of the place and went swimming whenever he pleased and foraged through the woods...unfortunately, he brought back a little poison ivy, which I am just recovering from now. I do not remember poison ivy being so horrible when I was little.

I wasn't able to make it to Fargo like I usually do, but Peni, Aaron and Brady all made the trek to Grand Rapids, so we got to hang out with them for a night. I finally got to meet my honorary nephew Brady. What a cute kid! He is the happiest little (well, not so little ;) baby I have ever met. You can't help but smile when he looks at you. Ethan wasn't so sure about having a cute baby around. I mean, he IS the cute baby, right? He looked like such a big kid next to Brady. They grow up fast!

Jon was able to come up for only part of the trip, but since we weren't traveling around MN as we usually do, it was pretty chill and was good quality time. Dad and Jon got to hang out quite a bit and got the boat in the water and brought Ethan for his first boat ride. It was pretty successful, although Ethan wanted to get up on the boat's side to feel the water with his hand. He would have jumped if I wasn't holding him, I swear that kid has no fear.

Jon and I also brought Ethan down to the local beach area one day. I had visions of all of us in the water with Ethan peacefully floating in this very overpriced inner tube type thing that sang songs when the different cartoon buttons were pushed. So, we all loaded in the car for the 4 block drive over. We had every sand toy and water toy that we thought could be possible. Thought is the operative word. We put Ethan in his floaty device and hit the water. Took about 20 seconds for me to get sick of the show tunes blasting from the damn thing and Ethan to want to get out. Why did I think that Ethan would want to sit passively by? Has he ever done this? No.

We pulled him out and took turns trying to hold on to him as he struggled to get out of our arms and figure out the depth of the water all on his own. We were trying to keep his head above water when Ethan looked around and noticed a certain item that we had failed to pack. A ball. Beach balls were everywhere and Ethan wanted one. BALL! BALL! BALL! Crap.  We had no ball. He noticed the buoy's that closed off the swimming area and wanted to get closer, thinking that these were shiny red balls. I saw no harm in getting closer, so Jon carried him out and let him touch it. Not enough. He wanted to take it with him. Needless to say that things kinda unravelled a little after that and my little vision of a perfect family water outing deflated a bit. We managed to stick around for a few more minutes, but the water was cold and Ethan started to shiver, so after just 1/2 hour, we packed up and headed back to grandma and grandpa's house where the pool water was a little warmer and easier to manage....and there were balls.

Ethan's exploding with words these days. Apple, orange, George (as in Curious) and he's finally saying 'momma' (yay!) He has started calling his little bear blanket 'baby' and Otis has been renamed Oden. He likes to tease Oden by carrying 'Baby'  around and calling his name. Otis thinks that he can play with said baby and tries to grab it, which makes Ethan yell at him "Let Go Oden, Let Go Oden!"...all the while laughing. Poor Oden can't catch a break. Oden is also Ethan's newest obsession. If he's trying to sleep, Ethan will try to ride him like a horse or lie on him. I have to say the dog is taking it all very well, even when he got hit by a ladle last night. Poor Oden.

I wanted to wish a big Happy Birthday to Katie Larson. It was her bday early this past week and b/c of one very big storm and a bunch of water at Jen and Tom's home, we hosted her party at our house. It was last minute, but Jon rose to the occasion and ran out to buy purple balloons and borrow glittery floaty things and princess signs from the Nelson's, who just celebrated Madison's 3rd bday a couple of weeks ago. I was pretty impressed with his 3 year old party planning abilities. It was all very urban with no grass for the kids, just a rooftop deck, but they had the pool and a sandbox and I think Katie had a good time. Below is a picture of the pretty birthday girl herself and Ethan trying to sneak in to get a better look at her presents.

So, new Ethan stats. Jon brought him in for his 18 mo check up on Tuesday. He is now32 1/4" tall and in the 50th percentile for his real age, a huge growth spurt! I think it was the MN air. He hasn't gained much weight at all though, he's a skinny kid at 21lbs 3oz. He eats so much, it's hard to believe, but then again, you watch him motor around all day and realize that the kid uses every bit of energy he consumes. He's only in the 5th percentile in this department. No one is worried about this of course. He's doing great as usual and progressing more and more at his real age rather than adjusted.

To end, a little now and then. Mom and Ethan last summer compared to them this summer. My little boy is growing up!

I'm Back!

It's been awhile! So much has happened, I don't even know where to start. It's been a pretty chaotic spring with a lot going on in the Koelsch family. It all kicked off in Feb with a non-stop 3 month work schedule and came to a header in May with Ethan's first fever and an ER trip at 4am topped off by my very own trip to the ER which landed me in the hospital for a few days. We've seen enough drama to last a long time hopefully. We're all happy to lie low for a while and look forward to enjoying the summer season.

So, maybe we do some recent Ethan highlights? The little man is walking, talking and dancing away. He has this way of walking where he raises his feet high and to the side and he puts his arms way back, sorta like George Jefferson. I can't get enough of it. I could just follow him around all day and watch his antics. He is definitely getting into toddler mode. He has started with some separation anxiety and has mastered the skill of wrapping his legs around my waist really tight so I can't hand him off or put him down. Although, at the other extreme, if there is no threat of me leaving him, he will lunge away from me when I am holding him and I am left grabbing frantically for a body part to keep him from slamming to the floor. It's fun.

He has a whole arsenal of words now. Although he's been using words for quite a while now, I'm always thrilled to hear them. He goes through phases where he will start and stop using certain ones, but clearly he has some favorites that has stood the test of time: Fav word number 1: Shoe. Shoe was one of his very first words we could understand clearly and I have no idea why this word in particular stood out for him. Is he taking after his mommy and her love of shoes? Maybe it's because we didn't buy him shoes until he was over a year old and they are novel? Not sure, but he's obsessed. He will go around the house and find shoes so he can say "shoe". He has also started putting our shoes away by the door. I guess it's never too early to teach him some clean up skills. Wish he would start on his toys.

Fav word #2: Cook. When he's hungry, he will yell 'cook!' in which someone is supposed to go to the kitchen and get him something to eat. The grandma's (both Koelsch and Kruse) have found this out first hand and they are not above being ordered to "cook!". He's also got some of the normal toddler first words: book, duck, kitty. He will say daddy, but he won't say mommy, which is driving me nuts because I work on this every morning. I will say it and he will just get quiet and look at me. It doesn't make sense: He can't say mommy, but he'll try to say 'flower', which seems like quite a mouthful? Sigh.

He is also counting :) Miriam got him to do this. When someone says "one", he will yell "two!". We're quite sure he's a genius (ha!). Just this week, I've got him to go to the next level; with me saying 'three' and him yelling 'four!' It's not completely consistent, of course, and forget about him ever saying 'one' or 'three'. My kid is going to count in evens the rest of his life.

We've had several doctor appts since the last blog entry. Ethan is currently at 21lbs. and is just shy of 31" tall. His doctors are still very happy with his growth and development. He's just doing so great. Now Jon and I need to stop adding in "he was 3 months premature" when someone asks how old he is. We're always self conscious that he may look smaller than other (almost) 17 month olds. He probably does, but it's not that sharp of a difference any more and it's time to stop viewing him as such.

The last few months have been tough, but as you can see, we've had some really great moments. My mom came to stay with us when I was sick. It sucked that I had to be sick, but it was great that we got her to Chicago and that we all got to spend time with her, especially Ethan. They had a great time together. After just a small period of shyness, Ethan was crawling all over her and ordering her to 'cook'! She also got a very 'warm' welcome out by our kiddie pool one day. We didn't have any swimmer diapers so Ethan was going commando under his swim trunks. Let's just say, Mom should have been a little more careful when having him sit on her lap. Video link attached above.

Also available on video, be sure to check out the li'l guy jamming out to "Mary had a little lamb". He's got some moves I tell you!

I wish I could fill in all of the fun, cool moments that have happened over the past 3 months.. As he's growing at such rapid pace, I could write for hours and still not capture it all. But there's always another story around the corner, so I'll wrap up here for now.

Note: I'll post a bunch of pictures later this week as well as figure out why my older pictures are no longer showing up. Not sure what I did, but I can pretty much guess that it's user error.

March 5: Oh, so busy

TGIF. Life has been busy. I can't keep up. I aways think of my highschool friend, Kerry, when things are out of control. I once got a card from her when she was a new mom that stated "I feel like I'm on a merry go round and I can't get off". Or something to that affect. For some reason, it struck me and lately, it's popped in my head quite a bit... When are you able to slow things down enough to jump off?

Ethan, crazy little boy. You can actually see him learning every day. You can see him pondering and thinking though situations. I know all mom's out there understand the pride/awe combo that comes with those learning moments. He now plays with what seems like a sense of purpose. He is able to pull his stacking barrels apart and put them back together (sometimes with mom’s help, but more and more on his own). He knows that when he puts his blocks into the slot of his train, it comes flying out into the back wagon. He hides his toys in the couch and comes back to play with them later (disturbingly like Otis, but that’s another matter altogether). My favorite new game is one he started. He will come up to me and pull on my pants leg and then crawl away really fast. I started chasing him down on my hands and knees one day and he started laughing hysterically. So I went to hide behind the chair and he came looking for me and it was on again! A chase that ended in laughs and a lot of kisses. So, now we have a morning ritual, he gets a little smile on his face and he comes over to pull on my leg, and off we go. It’s so funny. Now, I just need to get some knee pads. Hard wood floors are hard my old knees!!

He’s not walking yet. Still doesn’t seem to interested, but he is standing a lot more on his own. Most of the time when he’s not thinking too hard about it. When he’s really investigating a new toy. Or when he’s watching his favorite commercial on TV, the Chase one where they sing “you’re everywhere to me”…, or when watching the weather. The weather will stop him cold in his tracks and you cannot bother him when it’s on. Hmmm, maybe if he watched less TV he could focus on walking? :) anyways, he seems close, but still no steps.

We’ve incorporated daily teeth brushings into his schedule. We did this shortly after his 1st birthday. I mean, he does have 8 teeth. I was dreading it prior to trying it thinking it would not go well. But in true Ethan fashion, he took it in stride and even seems enjoys it. He starts smiling while we head to the bathroom at the end of the night as he knows what’s coming. Although, he does try to suck the toothpaste off the brush once in his mouth, which makes it hard to actually brush the teeth, but whatever, baby steps.

He got yet another haircut this week. I lost count, is this 6? Or 7? I went really short this time since it grew back so fast. It’s very cute, but he looks like a completely different little boy. They took a LOT of hair off the top. We could construct a mean toupee with the clippings.

Other tidbits: he hates his high chair. Hates it. We have a restaurant type one on order as he seems to do much better when he’s less constricted and can be at the table. Although, he’s turning out to be the best eater. I don’t know where the kid puts it all! The only thing that he won’t eat is broccoli. But I made a broccoli / cheese pasta sauce and he loves it. So, that was an easy fix. I can only hope this trend continues. I’m cooking a lot more. Me, cooking. I know what you all are thinking… I love me some take out and Jon does most of the cooking to keep me from finding the nearest Chipotle (or worse yet, making HIM go find the nearest Chipotle). But it’s been fun to cook for Ethan. Jon bought this ‘super foods’ baby cook book back when I was still pregnant and it has the best recipes for different pasta sauces and clever ways to combine vegetables and fun dinners (chicken balls anyone?). And they are easy! So now, Ethan has homemade pasta sauces or Sheppard’s pie for dinner (and chicken balls). It makes me feel like I’m being a good mom :) although, we do have the occasional fish stick night or grilled cheese. The kid loves his cheese.

He’s starting to take an interest in his books as well. He likes to sit next to Jon or I in a chair, like a big boy, and read Curious George, 8 Silly Monkeys, the 100 First Hundred Words book, Good Night Moon and Hooray for Fish (his current fav’s) over and over. This morning, he crawled over to the rocking chair, so I grabbed a couple of books out of the book case and he started smiling and trying to get up onto the chair. It was adorable. I am so happy he loves books. I hope it stays with him, it means a lot to me since I have always been such an avid reader.

All in all, things in the parent world are cruising along with very few blips in the road. Now if there were just a few more hours in the day to focus on things other than being Ethan’s mom or work…?? I know, all of you parents out there are smirking that knowing smile, thinking…yeah, that’s not going to happen. Sigh.

January 27: Happy Birthday Dear Ethan!

It was Ethan's birthday last Friday. Can you believe it? I couldn't...the whole week prior. I kept finding myself reflecting on the situation and remembering exact moments from the same time last year. I went from...this is the day that I had cramping, to this is the moment I called Jon at school and he had to bring me in... it was all very surreal. I think about when they told me that they were going to have to deliver...3:30pm. Looking back, I now realize I had a weird reaction. Instead of panic or fear, I felt relief. We had just spent the last 20 hours wondering whether or not they would be able to hold off the labor. And the constant monitoring of Ethan's progress and all of the pokes and needles and no food or sleep were wearing on me. Not to mention the contractions. When they finally said it was time, I was relieved that something was happening. I remember being in the room where they did the C-section. It was so sterile and white and cold. It's like I can remember every minute of it. I just stared at the clock on the wall, watching the hands move slowly while I attempted to block out the anesthesiologist's idle babbling all the while keeping up an internal chant... "this too shall pass, this too shall pass". Then the little guy was here and it was like it was meant to be that way all along, no shock. All I was able to see before they rushed him off was this little monkey/alien type looking baby and I wasn't worried. I was just happy he was here. I still wonder why I wasn't more panicked or fearful?

Maybe I had some sort of crazy intuition that everything was going to be OK if we just got through that day. I don't know how, but the sense of calm when I first saw Ethan was enveloping and warm. I didn't see a little 1lb 15oz baby, I saw this incredibly cute little boy. I look back now and am shocked. There was nothing to him and he was, well, like I said, a little alien-like! But all I saw was the most handsome baby in the world. Which I told him repeatedly over the coming months by the way :)

I know I'm rambling, but I'm entitled, right? And where are we now? 1 year, 1 healthy, crazy little boy that doesn't slow down or show any fear. He will try to throw himself of the couch, the bed... any high surface without a second thought and finds it funny when you catch him in mid air or by the ankles. He loves to be swung around up side down. He loves to be rough housed and has a laugh that sounds maniacal. You can't help but crack up yourself every time he lets it go. I could never have imagined these things about him 1 year ago...he was so fragile, but I love it and it's a routine part of our life now.

Current Ethan update: I don't think I mentioned last time that he has 8 teeth...8! With all of the hair (5 haircuts to date) and the teeth, I really wonder if these are side effects from the hormones and steroids they were pumping in me just hours before his birth :) He had his 1 year check up on Monday and he's on track and doing well. He weighed in at 17lbs 14 oz. I was a bit surprised that he wasn't heavier, but he's in the 25th percentile for a 1 year old, so no one was concerned. He also has grown a lot taller, he now measures in at 28 1/2 inches, which is in the 33rd percentile for a 1 year old. Not too bad for being 9 months adjusted age :)

We had a 'little' birthday for him at Chuck E Cheese on Sunday. 30 of his friends and family showed up to join in on the festivities. I am the first to admit that Ethan is a little young to enjoy all that Chuck the Mouse had to offer, BUT it was fun to get everyone together. Ethan played games with Jon, enjoyed the virtual band, got a huge medal to wear around his neck and ate cake. The cake: I kinda went a little nuts... it was huge and green with monkeys. But it's his first birthday, and again...I'm entitled! Ethan got his first taste of frosting, which he loved. It was green and so was he by the time he threw in the towel, he looked like a miniature Hulk for the rest of the day. I have to say that the sugar rush stayed with him the rest of the afternoon. He skipped his afternoon nap and was still going strong when it was time to call it a night 6 hours later. Picture below illustrates his mood just minutes before he was whisked away to get into PJ's. :) and yes, that is his sock in his mouth.

On the downside, he's in the middle of his first cold. It's not bad, so I can't complain too much...it's a runny nose and a cough and isn't affecting his sleep or appetite, but he is a little snot faucet and seems to slime everything that he passes. Fun, fun. I follow him around with the battery operated bugger sucker.

Happy 2010!

Happy New Year everyone! Just a quick post as it's been so long since the last. The holidays flew by. I feel like we were constantly on the move, but didn't get to see everyone that we would have liked to.

A few congratulations to throw out! Congratulations to Colleen and Joe who were married on Jan 2nd. The weather may have been cold, but the wedding was warm and beautiful and I think Colleen goes down as one of the Top 5 most gorgeous brides I've ever seen. Great party guys!

Also, to Jody and Keith. Although we have not heard anything official, I've seen little hints here and there on FB. ;) We'll talk next weekend.

On to Ethan: he's crazy. He doesn't like to sit still. He went from crawling to pulling himself up on everything to cruising along furniture and now he is standing by himself for small periods of time. I have a feeling that walking isn't too far in our future. It's been a fun month watching him teeter around, gaining confidence and exploring his new world; not to mention exhausting. He does not like to sit still to get dressed or to have his diaper changed. It's a battle of wills almost every time. Sometimes Jon and I have to tag team him to get him ready for bed and it usually is a 15 minute endeavor. I've given in to letting him chew on whatever he pleases just to keep him still. Unfortunately, he really like to chew on his booger sucker thing. Although it's clean, it's still disturbing.

Funny story of the day: Grandma Kruse got a crash course on "diaper changing - Ethan style" over Christmas. Shell and I snuck out for a few hours to catch a movie. When out, Ethan made a mess in his pants, so mom...all alone, tried to change him on the bed. With so much room to move around, Ethan was crawling everywhere, wiggling free and pretty much wore her down. When we got home, I noticed that Ethan's pants looked weird. I looked a little closer... "Mom, are Ethan's pants are on backwards?" They were and she didn't care. Her response was that she was lucky even to get pants ON the little bugger. Shell and I understood all too well and I joked that his diaper was probably on backwards. I snuck a peak just as a joke and it was! I couldn't stop laughing b/c I could visualize Ethan crawling across the bed and mom chasing him trying to put the diaper on him with his little butt up in the air. Why can I picture this so well? Because this is a daily instance in our household. :) No harm, no foul...right? I'm sure diapers are just as effective which ever way they are facing.

The Big "1" is coming up quickly. Can you believe it? Chuck E Cheese, here we come!

November 22: 10 Months Old!

Ethan is 10 months old today! It's an age that I have not been able to even imagine. It seems like it came out of no where and I'm surprised every day on how much he is learning and growing. It seems to be all happening so fast. Maybe the time warp feeling comes from the sleep deprivation. One day, he's 5 lbs and we're bringing him home from the NICU and the next BAM! he's over 17 lbs and talking gibberish and crawling! But what a big boy he has become. He's so much fun.

Yep, he's now crawling. And life as we knew it has changed completely..again. We are constantly pulling Otis' toys out of Ethan's reach b/c Ethan's new favorite thing is searching for them and if we are not fast enough, licking them. And Otis's food dish has been moved into the back hallway because another favorite thing of Ethan's is to tip over the dish and slap the water around. Ethan's loving his new found independence and thinks all of the licking and slapping of water is awesome. To give Otis credit, he has actually handled the toy takeover well. He gently grabs his toy and moves them to another location. But his dish...that's another story. His dish has been in the same place since he was 10 weeks old and this is the one change that he is fighting us on. He has started staging 'sit ins'. He'll plop himself down exactly where he would to eat if his dish were in the proper location and stare at us. If we ignore him, he'll start whining. It's a little unsettling and I admit to having given in a few times already. Only to have Ethan come along and slap the water around. Then Jon comes by with a sigh and moves the dish to the hall again. I wonder how long this will go on? And who knew that moving a dish would be the change that put the dog over the edge :)

This past month we had Ethan's 9 month check up and the NICU follow up. Both went very well and Ethan now has his flu and H1N1 shots, so we're knocking on wood that we can keep him healthy this fall/winter. At the NICU follow up, he had to meet with a psychologist, a physical therapist and a neonatologist. It's all a little overwhelming. It's nice to have so many eyes on him and to hear the praises on well he's doing, but it's also confusing...more doctors means more opinions and they are not always consistent. We do our best to take it all in and then use our best judgement and intinct, that's all we can do, right?

He is now creeping up on 28" long and 17 1/2 lbs. He is officially on the charts for a baby his real age (no adjusted age talk anymore). Small for real age, but real age none the less. He passed all of his 'tests'. Although we were told not to 'walk' him anymore. That was a little disappointing to hear...it's was his top most fav thing to do. (above toy stealing and dish tipping). But the PT said that he was on the cusp of crawling and that if he knew we would help him around by walking with him, that he wouldn't push himself to crawl. She said if we were to stop, he would be crawling within the week. Turns out, she was right... 3 days later, he was cruising around the living room. :)

We're all looking forward to Thanksgiving (read: long) weekend. We'll be in Milwaukee at Grandma Koelsch's and it'll be nice seeing everyone and showing off Ethan's new skills. I'm really starting to look forward to Christmas as well. It's been a while since Grandma and Grandpa Kruse has seen the little guy. Not so much looking forward to the long drive with baby and dog in tow though. We had a really bad trip last year and hit a white out that was so bad, we ended up pulling into small town WI and getting a hotel room. I don't think I could handle that again, especially with Ethan in the car. It was bad enough doing it when I was pregnant. Let's hope for decent weather.

I'll end with a short video, of...you guessed it. Ethan crawling :) This was taken on Tuesday of last week. He's already gotten a lot better, but it's cute!

November 4 - Happy Halloween 2009!

We had a great Halloween here in Chicago. We were finally able to get out a little bit and see friends we haven't seen in weeks, the Nelsons (x2) and the Boutells...and Ethan got to catch up with his li'l gang - Beckett and Baylor. They made quite a cute crew in Wicker Park on Saturday. Although they did not participate in trick or treating or face painting (maybe next year), we all hung out in the play yard area and had a good time watching Maddie swing and run around. Can I also mention how good they all were!?! It was amazing. No crying or fussing at all. We even brought them all out to lunch. It took a while for all of us to settle in and I think the servers didn't know what to do with us, but I have to say it was a very successful group lunch considering the size and age range of our posse.

Ethan's big thing these days: walking. He wants to walk every where. Of course, he can't do this himself, so he recruits whomever is on hand to help him...Auntie Shell, Miriam, Mom, Dad. And in turn, we all have sore backs trying to keep up with the little man. It makes me wish that the old school walkers weren't thought to be such a hazard. (are they really that bad? I'm beginning to weigh the pro's and con's...)

Happy Birthday Mom (Grandma)!!! Hope you like the flowers that Ethan sent you. He's got pretty good taste, right? ;-)

Oct 28: Auntie Shell + New Camera = Lotsa Video

Wow, it's been awhile since I've updated! I can't believe it's been over a month. Work has been really crazy and it's been hard to balance life these days. I got my first (2) work trips under my belt. They were a little rough, but I made it through and Ethan is still in one piece. ;) It's good and bad. At this age, they don't really miss you...which is good. They just need someone to feed and play with them. The bad part? They don't miss you. Sigh.

We also took our first vacation since Ethan was born. Well, actually since our honeymoon. It was way overdue. It was not only our vacation, but Bob and Brandi's wedding in Las Vegas! It was beautiful and suh a good excuse to get out of the midwest and see some sun before the snow flies here in Chicago.

While we were gone, Auntie Shell came to stay with Ethan. She says she had a good time, although I think Ethan exhausted her a bit. I called to check in on her on Saturday night and she was sleeping...it was a little before 8pm CST. :)

Shell bought a new video camera for the occasion (and future occasions, I'm guessing). I've included a couple for you since I've been really bad at keeping up with pictures. You'll notice that his hair is out of control...again! I've cut it two times already and it's already grown out again. You can really tell it was me who cut Ethan's hair in these pictures ...yikes! I've gotta find someone who will do a better job!

Morning with Ethan and Auntie Shell:
http://sharing.theflip.com/session/13def5c13035bbb4a9d0c702dfceb767/video/6859347

Meal Time:
http://sharing.theflip.com/session/da693eefc9078991b889d523c5ffa79d/video/6894654

Ethan is sitting up alot now and is getting more sturdy every day. He still won't crawl; he doesn't seem to want to when he can roll to everything. But he does want to walk all over. I'm starting to think he'll walk before crawling. We'll just have to wait and see :)

I want to take a minute to give a call out to 2 of my very close friends today. I got a lot of good news.

1st: Congrats to Peni and Aaron...they are having a boy!! Pen, I know you wanted a girl, but I assure you, once the news sinks in, it will be all goodness :) Little boys have a way of wrapping their moms around their li'l fingers, so watch out. And remember, even a boy can have a little sparkle ;) Ha!

2nd: Congrats to Jen and Tom!! They will be bringing home a baby brother or sister to Katie this spring. Another impossibly cute baby on they way!

The baby boom continues into 2010!

September 20: First Annual Family Vacation

Last weekend, we had our first family vacation with Ethan. Theresa, Mom, Dad, Shell, Jon, Ethan, Otis and I all headed to the Dells for a weekend getaway. It was a lot of fun with just a few missteps along the way. We lucked out with perfect weather. The house we rented was beautiful and was on a private lake. The only issue I had was that the pictures made it seem like it was on a sandy beach with a swimming area, but in reality there were 50 + steps down to a murky area with one board thrown out to get to the paddle boat. Not like we were going to go swimming, but I had visions of plopping Ethan down on a blanket in the sand in his new little swim trunks and dipping his little toes in the water. Next year... :)

Of course, nothing can go completely smooth. At the last moment, Jon found out that his vacation request had been declined due to a last minute meeting that popped up with the President of the company. That sucked. It meant that I was alone to pack up the car and Ethan and myself, pick up Shell and head out of town. We decided that it would still make sense for me to leave at 10 am as we had originally planned and get there when Theresa and Mom and Dad were due to arrive, and Jon would take Amtrak straight from work and we'd pick him up.

I woke up at 5:45. Got a shower in before Ethan woke up. Right on cue, Ethan's eyes popped open at 6am and we got the first bottle of the day put away. I had packed most of our stuff the night before and Jon had brought the suitcase out for me, but I still had some odds and ends and also had to pack the car . Ethan usually is the best napper, but that morning, he decided he didn't need one. I couldn't get him to sleep. And b/c he missed his nap, he got cranky. I was starting to get a little panicky when it was 9am and I was supposed to be out of house by 10. I had managed to pull myself together, but I still had to pack the car with the cooler and misc stuff. I stuck Ethan in his crib screaming, and started to pack the car. Otis, seeing all of the stuff going into the car, figured out what was happening and got all nervous, not wanting to leave my side, thinking we were going to go somewhere without him, so I was tripping over him. I was really hoping the neighbors weren't trying to sleep in, b/c we had a screaming baby for 20 minutes while I loaded the car. I finished loading the car, got Ethan calmed down and fed him again, changed him and called Shell to tell her I'd be there in 20. I was only running about 15 minutes late that time, which is really good for me, b/c I usually was always 1/2 hour late everywhere I went B.E. (before Ethan). Proud of myself, I got Otis into the truck, cracked the window and went upstairs to load up Ethan, I picked up his car seat and noticed something was leaking all over my foot. I had trailed the car seat into the living room and up onto the ottoman, then looked back and noticed the trail. Although, I knew this couldn't be good, like a dumb ass, I stuck my hand in, pulled it out and smelled. WTF?!?!... Cat PEE!!!! I was furious. Ty is getting old and had been throwing up a lot, much to our frustration, but if he started peeing on things. That was it, I would have to do something about it. Once I calmed down a little, I realized that Miriam, our nanny, had washed the floors the day before, and had shoved Ty's litter box tight into the corner. Ty wasn't able to get to it. It also helped clear up the confusion on why Ty had whined at us the whole entire night before. Suddenly, I felt bad for him b/c he probably held it as long as he could then found the one thing that looked closest to his litter box. I was also relieved as he wasn't purposely peeing on our stuff. Didn't make the situation any easier, but at least Ty wasn't losing it. Again, I called Shell and told her I was going to be late.

If I would have had a way to get to a store with Ethan in tow, I would have just scrapped the entire car seat and bought a new one. Since I had no options and Jon was working. I set to work cleaning it. I pulled it all apart, soaked the cloth parts and cleaned it by hand, then stuck in the washing machine in hot water. Then I took the base, threw it in the sink, and filled the sink with hot water filled with Lysol. After a Lysol rinsing came detergent for the straps and then after the detergent I washed with color safe bleach. The thing was as clean as it was going to get. I set it outside to dry in the sun.

At this time it was 11:30. I had high hopes that we would be able to get out the door by 12pm. So called Shell, told her that I'd be there in 1/2 hour and then went to get the cloth parts out of the dryer in order to put the car seat back together. In my frenzy of finding the cat pee, I forgot how I took it apart, so had to go on line to figure it out. Got the directions, got it together, then realized that the stuffing inside the cloth was still wet. Not to be deterred, I came up with a plan to put a plastic disposable changing pad down, then a blanket, to keep Ethan from getting wet. Sounded good at the time and I was desperate to get out of the house. Of course, once I shoved Ethan in, I realized that the little guy would not be comfortable and he was all crackly. I couldn't bring my self to put him through all that and the possible wetness seeping through when we had a 3 hour drive in front of us. Crap. Out came Ethan.

OK, OK. Called Shell, told her it was going to be a little longer. By this time, I was 3 hours late. I saw that Jon was on line, so caught him on IM. He was surprised to see that we were still home. By this time, we were only 1 hour away from when he was going to catch the train, so it made sense to wait for him and during that time, dry the car seat completely through.

So, Jon gets home, we get Ethan fed again and loaded up; got Otis into the car and were on our way to Shell's ... only 4 1/2 hours late. I was exhausted before even leaving Chicago. Of course, we then had to call Theresa and Mom and Dad to let them know that we were going to be late :) Theresa got to the cabin early and got a little down time before everyone rolled in and Dad and Mom found a casino. All was good, for the moment.

That wasn't the end of our issues. Next, the GPS's. Jon and I and Dad have these wonderful little gadgets. And I love ours. I depend on it to get me everywhere and I rarely get lost around Chicago anymore. But, I learned last weekend that I'm a little too dependant on it. Thinking that the GPS can get me anywhere, I thought I wouldn't need the directions that were emailed to us earlier in the week. I believed in the power of the GPS. So, I found out, did Dad. Needless to say, Theresa, the only one to bring the directions with, had to come and find all of us on the back roads of Oxford, WI, as we were all lost.

Finally, at 6:30pm...4 1/2 later than expected ETA, we all had arrived and settled in and the rest of the weekend was stress free. As I mentioned, we had beautiful weather, Ethan was on his best and cutest behavior, flirting with all of his ladies. Jon and Dad got some fishing in...although no actual fish were caught. Otis got to go swimming and caused mayhem, but enjoyed himself thoroughly. He tried to follow Jon and Dad out by swimming after the paddle boat. He also swam up to our neighbor who was trying to fish and tried to 'fetch' his bobber. Thank god the neighbor found humor in the situation. We played some games, had some drinks and ate really well. Poor Theresa and Jon were subject to the Kruse rules while playing 500 rummy. What, doesn't everyone count the jokers and 2's as wild and count the queen of spades as 40 points?? Mom swears that this is the official 'rule book'. But no one could produce said book or remember the last time they saw it. There was also a crazy game of golf lasso, which Mom proclaimed Kruse's against the Koelsch's. Quickly following, I was unceremoniously dumped by my parents since I am now a Koelsch. I wish I could say the Koelsch's won, but those Kruse's are a mean bunch and we lost in overtime. There was heckling involved after. Just wait until next year.

August 28: Momma's gonna buy you a bottle of wine...wait. What?

Ok, ok. It's been a long time since I've sung nursery songs. I often find myself making up my own lyrics after one verse. Poor Ethan...the boy has no chance of inheriting any musical ability from us (well, from me at least, I won't speak for Jon). Not only do I mumble through the basic songs, I really cannot carry a tune to save my life. I've looked up a couple of lyrics on line, but, really, my brain is mush these days, and I forget them by the next day. So, I wing it. The other night after finishing up a long day of work and letting Miriam go, I catch myself singing the song "Momma's gonna buy you a Mockingbird" (is that really the name? I don't know). I actually know 2 verses to that. I get to "Momma's going to buy you a diamond ring, if that diamond ring don't shine, Momma's gonna buy you a bottle of wine" Wait, what? That can't be right... I had to think about it and re-sing it in my head. Nope, definitely not right...oops. I'm probably not going to win mother of the year anytime soon, but really, at that moment, I could have used a bottle of wine. :)

We've had a very busy couple of weeks. A lot of firsts for the little guy. Not only has he settled into a new schedule with Miriam, he started cereal AND, drum roll, please... is now sporting the very tip of a tooth! Yes, 4 months adjusted age and there you go... a tooth poking through. My sister wonders if I took growth hormones or something when I was pregnant. Shelly thinks that Ethan will be forever playing catch up without realizing he doesn't need to. Or maybe, Nancy, he may just be a one-upper, just like his mother :). At first I was elated and had to call the Grandparents. Then soon after found out it's not all that great. He doesn't have the motor skills to hold a teething ring, so he needs help to keep things to his mouth to chew and has been quite uncomfortable. It is what it is. And I'm sure once it's completely in, it'll be very cute.

He had a doctors appointment this week. 14lbs 2 oz & 24 1/4 in long. Getting SO big. His face is really starting to round out and so are his li'l legs and tummy. The doctor had all good things to say and is now viewing him as a normal infant, no longer a preemie. Of course, we still have to worry about his kidney. We have an ultrasound next month to see if there are any changes. But it's nice to know that his growth is going so well and he's on track.

Did I mention that he is now back to sleeping through the night? That's the best part :) Jon and I are getting (for the most part) uninterrupted sleep now and things feel like they are back to normal. Normal except that I am up at 6am every morning. That that will never be normal. But I have to say, I may grumble all the way to his room with one eye open, the moment I step over his crib and he gives me one of those toothless grins, it's not so bad all of a sudden.

August 11: Mmmm mmm good

Today Ethan had his first 'solid' meal, rice cereal. It was a very fun, but messy moment and of course, in true new parent fashion, we caught it all in pictures and in video.

To get to this point, we had to bring Ethan to the doctor today. He hasn't been eating well and is in fact, eating less currently than he was 6 weeks ago. After talking to the nurse practitioner on the phone, she said it may be cause for concern and to bring him in for a check. The first thing they did was weigh him, and surprisingly enough, he had gained 12 oz in 2 weeks, which is really good. I was relieved. Obviously, the decrease in quantity isn't affecting his growth. This took some of the urgency out of the situation. There, of course, could be several reasons for his loss of appetite. A few mentioned were: the heat; he could have hit a growth plateau or could be reacting to my going back to work. Or it could simply boredom of straight up formula. Based on my answers to her various questions, the NP thougth this may be the reason and since they were planning on putting him on rice cereal at our next appt, suggested we try it now and then we can evaluate his eating habits at our regularly scheduled appt in 2 weeks.

So, that is how we got to tonight. :) Ethan only took 3 1/2 oz out of his 6 oz bottle, so I busted out the cereal and BAM! (a little Emeril insert here) he didn't miss a beat. He was ready and he seemed to love it (although, I have no idea why, I tasted it...ack!). He even ate more than I had originally anticipated giving him as I made up more than I was supposed. I spilled extra cereal in when pouring ...oops. But he finished it all... Very fun, memorable night.

Behold, Ethan's first meal:

Note: I realized after the fact that Jon recorded the video vertically from my camera and now I can't figure out how to turn it. And it's sorta long. So, the video may be only for those hard core Ethan fans out there...or if you're really bored at work and need to break up the day. :)

Not anticipating a doctors visit today, Ethan was rockin one of his mohawk hair do's today. The ladies in the office ate it up. I guess that's what I get when it's dad's turn at bath night. He does sport a cute spike (curl) 'tho, doesn't he?

In other fun Ethan news, he is laughing now and it is hysterical. He sounds like a little donkey. The first time he did it, I didn't know what he was doing. When I figured it out, I busted up laughing myself. This made him laugh even more. I was dying. He's also rolling both back to front AND front to back now on a regular basis and this has now become his transport of choice. We have to watch him closer these days as he likes to roll off of his blankets, then off the rug, onto the hardwoods. I wasn't thinking that we would have a 'mobile' child so soon. Well, sorta mobile :) He definitely keeps us entertained and on our toes these days. And we're having so much fun with it.

July 26: 6 months! Can it be?

I've lost track on how many times I have sat down to update the blog. It's been difficult. To say that time is no longer my own is an understatement. And for someone who used to while away weekends watching Lifetime and Golden Girls, it's tough at times. I look back and wonder how I could possibly have had so much free time at my disposal... and wish that I could just get one Lifetime weekend back... just one :).

Back to the current reality: I have a feeling that's not going to happen in the near future. I'm back to work and now ready to tackle a role that I have never quite understood or have tried to for that matter...the working mom. Yikes. I officially went back on July 15 part time and have been attempting to juggle some small projects while still taking care of Ethan. Our nanny starts August 3rd and at that time, I will go back full time. This past 1 1/2 weeks have been crazy to say the least. I really had faith that I could do the part time thing AND take care of the Ethan. And I do sorta...badly...I am humbled. You wouldn't think that such a little person who isn't mobile yet and takes naps could still consume your so much of your day. As hard as I try, I get maybe 45 minutes at a time to work and then it's over before I can start. So, I try to get some extra hours in at night when I can, and constantly feel guilty that I'm not doing enough, on either end. I haven't balanced well. I can only hope this gets better.

I'm also struggling with the idea of handing Ethan over to someone else during the day. I'm not an overly emotional person, but with time running out, I find myself anxious. In some respects, I'm excited about getting fully back into the rhythm of work ...to be able to concentrate on something other than the entertainment of an infant. But I can't stop thinking that it's the end of something. I will never have time like this again with him and it's saddening me. I mean, I am the one who knows his schedule in and out. I am the one who gets to see every milestone come to life. I am the one who has had the priviledge of holding him and watching him as he sleeps, anytime of day, whenever I have wanted to. Even with the exhaustion and the sometimes long days of taking care of him, it's been amazingly wonderful. And because of this, I've found myself in tears more than a few times when the realization hits me that I'm going to be giving that time up to someone else very, very soon. And then I hug him a little too tightly and he gets mad. Oops. I'm sure I'm not stating anything new here. Mothers for decades have had to go through this when they go back to work. But it's worth noting. And I can't help it if I get a little emotional as we come to the end of this first chapter of Ethan's little life.

On a different note...summer seems to have finally arrived, well...sorta. Jon and I have been able to spend a little time out on our deck enjoying the warm nights. The cooler weather isn't all bad either now that cool means 75 degrees. Ethan is now big enough to sit out with us during the day and will even entertain himself on his playmat at times. And to loop back on the warm nights comment...He also has an earlier bedtime: 8pm. Yes, I said 8pm! I gotta admit, during that 1st month when I was only getting 2 hours of sleep at a time and was deliriously exhausted, I thought this day would never be possible. When his longer sleep periods first started, I thought it was all a fluke and had little panic attacks each evening thinking that he would slip back into his old ways and wake up every couple of hours. But, he hasn't slipped. And now sleeps for 7-10 hours at a stretch. He sometimes will wake up at 2 or 3am, but only needs to have a quick bottle and is back in his bed sleeping in 20 minutes. It's delightful. So, new routine...he starts getting ready for bed and has his bottle finished and is out by 8pm. This has given Jon and I are evenings back and we've even had a couple of late dinners and some wine on the deck after Ethan is all tucked in (well, when I'm not fighting the urge to go to bed at 8pm with Ethan...I think I'm still catching up :)

Ethan update... he's been growing so fast! Do I say that every post? I think I do...but it's amazing. He is now 6 months old and weighs in at a respectable 12lbs 12 oz. He's in catch up mode now and his doctor likes his progress. He had a growth spurt in MN...I swear it was all the clean air and Grandma's rocking technique that helped with that. He's smiling all of the time. He still likes to stand and does a great job of balancing himself for long periods of time. His head control is great, he has found his hands and sucks on his fingers all of the time...he's never been a passifier type of kid, which I am happy about...one less thing to wean him off of later. He also has started to like more play time...he's less dependant on us holding him and would rather look and bat at his toys or get lifted up in the air in play. He's paying attention to books that I read to him. And he loves to mimic...we stick out our tongue or vibrate our lips together and he concentrates really hard and woila! he does it too. Very cute. :) And just last night he rolled from his back to his stomach! It was huge as he hadn't even been trying this during the day yet. Too bad his first attempt was in the middle of the night and he scared the crap out of himself. I came running down the hall to answer the cries of a very distressed baby to fnd that he had managed to flip himself over and had one of his legs poking out from between the slats of his crib. It took awhile to calm him down after that one. But this did not deter him. All day today, he has been working on perfecting this move...but still gets upset when he is successful. Huh.

We got his 6 months pictures taken this past weekend and he handled them like a pro. They turned out so cute that I kinda went crazy on the ordering. The grandparents will have plenty of shots to choose from. On the other hand, Jon will never let me bring Ethan to a photo shoot alone again b/c I can't control myself and spent way too much money. Another oops. I really have no self control. The final pictures will be back on Aug 4 and I will post at that time. But we so have some low res proofs we can share now: they are below. He's such a cutie if I do say so myself, Kruse ears and all. Enjoy :)

Funny (?)story to end the post today: My sister, Michelle (Shell) and I were at Target yesterday. Target trips, always one of my favorite things to do, have taken on a whole new meaning since Ethan has come home. I can't seem to get out of there without an over flowing cart of stuff and usually some sort of big ticket item for the li'l guy...usually something that makes Jon sigh and shake his head as he surveys our living room that has been overtaken by contraptions that eat batteries in an alarmingly fast rate. Yesterday was no different. I've had my eye on an exersaucer for quite some time. Ethan's been too small for one, but with all of his standing and great head control, I was thinking this might be the time to pull the trigger and just buy it... especially with no Jon in sight. I decide to go for it and apply the mentality that I can ask forgiveness later. This thing is not small, but I add it to my already overflowing cart and set out to find Shell. She also has an overflowing cart and for a moment, I have a small fear that there is no way that we're going fit all of our stuff in my car. I put this fear aside just as quickly...there is always a way.

I am looking for Shell, bumping into people b/c the exersaucer is sticking out the sides. I lose it a couple of times and nice people help me put it back on...yes, I'm that person. I hate 'that' person and here I am, I've become one. I find Shell, we go to check out. Like I said, I have a heaping cart and gettin in line to check out is a little bit of a struggle. This single guy gets in line after me and has one pair of shorts to buy. I'm feeling a little embarrassed as I pile the stuff up for the Target associate to scan. I mean, I HATE being behind someone like me...do you see a theme? I pull the exersaucer up to get scanned and can't for the life of me ge it back down under the cart. I try to shove it the long way and it falls, I shove it the short way and I have it off balance, it falls. The nice guy behind me finally helps and we get it to stay. Then I drop some coffee on it and it falls. He patiently comes over and helps again. I mumble thank you with out really making eye contact this time and take off as soon as I get the receipt.

I find Shell waiting for me and we start pushing our obnoxiously full carts to the exit. In my haste, guess what; the exersaucer comes tumbling out... and guess what... the nice guy who was just buying one pair of shorts is behind me trying to exit as well...it didn't take him long to get through the line. I should have just let him go ahead of me. So, here we go again, he helps me put it back on my cart. It falls off. He tries again, I go 2 steps, it falls off. He then picks it up and says, "OK where is your car". I am mortified by this time and make a big deal on how I cannot accept his offer to carry to the car. Shell sees this and steps in to try to help by saying we can balance it on top of everything if I can hold it..Yes, I can do this. So, as Shell and I try to take over the exersaucer from the nice man, Shell let's go of her cart and it rolls all the way across the road and hits the curb on the other side, all the time the guy is trying to warn us. What? Huh? What is happening? Who are we?? I've turned into a side show freak...it's official. We retrieve Shell's cart, which thankfully missed any moving cars and we bee lined, rather awkwardly as I couldn't see over the exersaucer, to my car. Getting everything in the car, of course, is another story completely, which I'll skip for today. Because, really, isn't this enough?