February 27: Gaining Ground

Ethan is on the mend. He has looked really good the last couple of days and has been very active; yesterday especially. We kangoroo'd for 3 hours and after he was wide awake; looking around a lot and following my voice and footsteps with his eyes. It was particularly hard to leave him because of this. I was talking to his nurse about it this morning and she said that he is definitely getting to a point that he needs more attention when he's awake. He's aware of people around him and is more content if he knows someone is nearby. If THAT doesn't make me feel guilty for not being able to spend more time with him, I'm not sure what can. All I can do is keep in mind that 'this to shall pass' and soon he'll be home and we'll get to spend all the time we want together. We can all put these days behind us.

He also has gained some poundage. He's up to 1230 grams or 2oz 11 1/2 oz :) He had his biggest gain to date last night... 60 grams! We'll be seeing 3lbs before you know it!!

We are on day 5 of his 10 day antibiotics and restriction of feedings. He's doing great and there is little to no bile coming out of his little tummy anymore. They had him back down to the regular air flow today at a level 2 setting. At his worst, he was put back on high flow at level 4, so we're heading back in the right direction. He also had no drops today! Well, 2 to be honest, but they were so small and quick, we're not counting them. His head was positioned weird on one and on both he brought himself out quickly and the alarms turned themselves off before we could even react. Good day, considering his condition. His xrays of his bowels are showing a small improvement. We'll take it :)

And my last Ethan update: holding him has taken on more meaning. I think it is because he is bigger, I can feel him more. Instead of just this little lump, I can feel his legs and arms moving against me. Part of it could be that I'm more comfortable handling him and not scared that I am going to break him. I can hold him by his head and butt now with his face looking up, so we can look at each other. It's so great to be able to stare at his little face the whole time, instead of just being able to sneak kisses on the top of his head once in a while. Don't get me wrong, that was great, but this next step is awesome. I'm sure it will only keep getting better and better as he grows.

February 25: NEC

Sorry that we haven't updated in a couple of days. It was a little jarring to us to have Ethan take a turn in such a short amount of time. The doctors have diagnosed Ethan with necrotizing enterocolitis; or NEC for short. NEC is a medical condition where portions of the bowel stop working and parts of the tissue could die. The symptoms are various, but the ones that were noticed on Sunday; the green residual from his feedings and his slow digestion were what prompted the doctors to take notice and to eventually make the diagnosis. NEC is seen in approximately 10% of preemies weighing in at less than 1500 grams at birth and can be serious if it progresses; sometimes ending with surgery.

In Ethan's case, he is doing as well as can be expected; maybe even better than expected. As the doctors say, it's Ethan; of course he's doing well. They are fairly confident that he will have a full recovery with no surgery required. It is comforting to hear them say this as up until last night, they had been erring on the side of caution through this whole ordeal and not giving us anything but the facts so as to not give us false hope. So, for now, he is on antibiotics and will get his nutrition through an IV for 10 days. They have stopped his feedings in order to let his gut heal. He has been getting daily xrays and blood tests in order to catch any bacteria that may be in his blood. So far, the tests are all coming back negative (which is good) and his xrays, although concerning, have not gotten any worse. Nana, our primary doctor, told me today that he has gotten through the first few critical days without anything worsening, so she thinks that we'll just need to wait out the next 7 days and then start feeds again. He'll have to start all over at only 3 ml per feeding and work his way up to a full feed again. They'll watch him closely and with luck, he'll tolerate the feeds and we'll get back on track.

Sunday and Monday were rough on Ethan. Sunday he was poked and prodded alot and didn't get much sleep. Monday, he was listless and pale...you could really tell he wasn't feeling well. They have him all hooked up to IV's again and he has a tube down his throat to help the excess bile and air come out. But, yesterday and today he seems to be doing so much better. He just looks more healthy... more rosy and alert and he seems comfortable. He is sleeping well and when awake, doesn't fuss. If you didn't know he was sick, you would never know that something this serious was happening to him, he's just as sweet as ever.

Even with this all going on, we've seen developmental progress this week. In general, he just looks bigger. His head is growing and he's looking more and more like a full term baby every day. And today, I noticed that he is honing his suck reflex. I was able to hold him and once Tracy, our nurse, put him on my chest, he found his thumb and starting sucking away, we could hear the sucking noises as they were loud and slurpy. It was a bright spot in our day and touched our hearts as he was comforting himself. Later, after he was back in his isolette, he was opening his mouth a lot so I got his pacifier for him. He has used this before, but just for a few moments and the sucks were short. This time, the sucking was significant and we heard the sucking noise again; he kept this up for a long period of time. He stayed awake and was playing with my finger for about an hour after I held him, following my voice with his eyes as he sucked away. He's so cute and to see him do these normal baby things keeps our hopes up and will help us get through this rough period.

We'll keep you updated on his progression this week. Please keep us in your thoughts and hope that he continues to beat this infection. He's a strong little guy... and I have no doubt that between his own strength and the love and support that he continues to receive from friends and family, he will be better in no time.

February 22: Setbacks

We've had a bit of a rough weekend. Ethan has had a few issues pop up, in what seems, out of nowhere. Some of these issues are probably harder to take just because Ethan has been doing so well....I mean, we got through a full month without any set backs, so we were blindly hoping that we were out of the woods. We learned that things can change very quickly and has reminded us not to take his progress for granted.

It started yesterday. Jon and I were on our way to the hospital when we got a call from the NICU. What the doctors had been telling us would happen finally did... Ethan needed a blood transfusion. He's been borderline for awhile, but always pulled through. But, he was especially pale that day, the nurse explained, and he had been having more than normal desats. I can't even count how many times our doctor had told us this was most likely to happen at some point, so I thought I was prepared. But, I learned quickly that you can't really prepare yourself for this type of thing. We got to the hospital and went through the standard talks with the doctors and signed the consent form. Everyone assured us that he would be more alert and feel better after, but ugh...really? The little guy doesn't deserve any of the poking and prodding that he gets already, now this. I had to leave when they started to put the IV in. I can't watch them put needles into his little arm. It's unbearable.

The nurse called us back in the room and we started to feel better as Ethan was calm and border line sleeping. If he can handle it, we should be able to as well, right? I was able to hold him while the transfusion was in progress. This also helped me by feeling that I was comforting him in some way? I realize that this might be more for myself than for him, but I hope that it helped in some way. By the time we left the hospital last night, he was looking better, much more pink and rosy and only then, did we realize that he had indeed been pale..the transformation was definitely noticeable.

So, we thought this was the worst of it. We ran some errands today and got to the hospital a little later than expected. We did call in to see how he was doing and the nurse said he was fine. He had gained another 10 grams and is at 2lbs 8oz. When we got to the hospital, our nurse came up and gave us the run down. Ethan had still been having a higher amount of desats, but it seemed like they were happening when he was being fed. So they were going to pump his food in at a slower rate to hope that this took care of the situation. She also mentioned that he hadn't had a stool for a long time. She decided to give him a glycerin chip...meaning she put this up his little butt. Ugh. But again, we seemed to be more upset about the happenings than he.

Just when we thought that that was going to be it, the nurse was doing his checks and checked if there was residual left from his last feeding. Usually, he has nothing left to maybe 1ml...he has tolerated his feeds like a champ ever since they started feeding him through a gavage. So, I was pretty shocked to see quite a bit come out of him. Not only was there a lot, it was a light green color. I guess this is because of the bile. The nurse stayed calm but went to talk to his doctors, who then in turn ordered an xray.

The results of the xray showed that there was indeed a lot of stool build up, but they were unsure of why he would have so much build up or why there was so much bile in his residual. So, they are going to do more tests this evening and another xray once he has a stool. The doctors talked us through all of this but I'm still confused on what they think it may be to be honest; they went through so many possibilities. All we know is that it might be an intestinal issue and he may have to go on antibiotics. They stopped his feedings and will be providing his nutrients through IV again until they figure out what is happening with him.

The positive out of all of this is that Ethan doesn't seem sick. He is comfortable and his tummy is not sensitive at all. We are supposed to call back later tonight to see if they have any further information for us. I will post an update tomorrow morning if they are able to give us answers on what is going on. In the meantime, please keep him in your prayers.

February 20: Ethan's Chair

About 2 weeks before Ethan was born, Jon and I were on the search for the perfect glider. We had done our research, came up with a couple of brands that we liked and on one Saturday afternoon in early January, took a drive out to a store that carried the gliders we had been looking at. Once there, we even got a tutorial on what to look for. Since this chair was mainly for me and the baby, it had to fit my size, so I went from chair to chair checking them all out...needless to say, we spent an embarrassing amount of time testing out all of the options available to us. What can I say? There's not much to keep you entertained in the dead of winter when you are in the middle of your pregnancy.

We finally agreed on a Best Chair, The Bedtime Series. Next: what type of fabric? We couldn't agree. I wanted something soft and fuzzy, but Jon refused to let me get chenille or a light fabric that would show wear (always the practical one). When we got home that night, we still hadn't reached an agreement. I jumped on line and came upon a website for a little boutique shop, Twinkle Twinkle Little One, that was right on Damen and had all of the Best Chairs available for custom order. It closed in 50 minutes, so we got back in the car and drove over to see what they had available. What a cute little store! The owner was great and talked us through what her past customers have liked and what the general trends were. She also let us take the whole swatch book home with us so we could check it out in different lighting and against our own stuff. That was what we needed. We found a fabric that we agreed on almost right away (and it was soft AND fuzzy...ha!). The next day, we brought the swatches back in and ordered the chair. The shop owner thanked us and said she would be call us as soon as the chair arrived, in about 3 weeks. At the time, we would never have thought it possible that the chair and Ethan would arrive the exact same week.

Looking back, the timing was perfect...mom and dad (or the new Grandma and Grandpa Kruse) were arriving from MN the day I was to come home from the hospital; we have a small condo with only a sectional sofa in the living room, so the extra seating was going to come in handy. Jon worked out a plan with the shop owner to pick the chair up at her home since the store was closed and had it set up when we all arrived. Grandpa Kruse took the chair over immediately and broke it in for us by watching TV with his eyes closed, one of his favorite past times, more than once that week :). It was nice to get his seal of approval and to have proof that it would be comfortable for not only me, but people over 5'2".

When my parents left, Jon quickly took it over. Now every night, Jon settles in to the chair to work away on his computer or to watch TV. Not to be left out, the animals of the house have also laid claim to this chair. It started out that Ty, the cat, would lie on it... but we have a very jealous puggle roaming the house that has a tendancy to harrass Ty out of all of his favorite snoozing places and this time was no different. Now, you can find Otis sprawling out in the chair at any time that Jon is not in it with the cat glaring at him from across the room.

So, why do I go on and on about a chair? Because this chair has quickly become such an integral part of our household in such a short amount of time... and ultimately, because the chair is Ethan's. In some strange Nicole way, the chair represents Ethan. It's a physical presence in our home when he cannot be. I look at the chair and it reminds me that Ethan will be home soon to claim this special chair and it helps me get by. And in the meantime? I gain some sort of comfort in the fact that its become such a favorite and I love seeing Grandpa or Jon or even Otis enjoying it so much, as I'm sure Ethan will soon.

Ethan Progress Report...he's doing great :) After losing 20 grams yesterday, he gained 50 today and is now at 1100 grams (2lbs, 7oz). We got a good cuddle in today and it won't be too much longer until we'll try to introduce a bottle to him. 2 weeks maybe? I can't wait. We were hoping to see his cannula disappear this week, but it may be a little longer. They upped his air pressure to level 1.5 from level 1 as he was struggling a little last night. We can't be too disappointed as he's been progressing so fast. We can't look at this as much of a set back. He's one month this week, hard to believe. It's amazing to look through the pictures over the past 4 weeks and see his growth, he truly is our little miracle.

February 18 Another Good Day...

Its Jon again. Ethan is coming up on his 1 month birthday on Sunday and he's throwing a party in his incubator. The party is BYOB (bring your own bottle) and you must be less than 15" tall to attend. Please RSVP with his nurse Tracey, pod 1087D, Northwestern NICU.
Ethan continues to make progress. His weight today is 1070 grams, or 2 pounds and 5.7 ounces, that's a 20 gram increase from yesterday. Nicole and I split up the day and she went to the hospital during the day and left around 5. When I arrived at his pod around 6pm, in true Ethan style, he was passed out on his stomach with his arms spread wide, taking up the entire the bed. I have no idea where he gets this from, I swear I've never done that, really, I swear.
For today's medical update, Ethan has a shiny new breathing machine that makes bubbly noises. The nurse told me that the new machine outputs less volume of air, meaning Ethan is one step closer to breathing on his own. We are hoping that in the next few days, Ethan can be free of the breathing aids and we'll have many more pictures of his cute face. His drops in breathing are becoming fewer and fewer, which is probably making the nurses happy since they seem to be running wild taking care of all of the other babies in our unit. Since we've arrived at the NICU, we have a whole new group of babies around us.
In other news, Auntie Michelle stopped by for a visit. Nicole and I know how much she loves Ethan and we're still trying to figure out how to get Michelle her own pass to visit Ethan, so far, no luck.
All in all, Ethan is doing great. Tomorrow they will perform more tests to check on his kidney. For all of you that have sent emails or left a voice mail wishing us well, we appreciate your thoughts and we apologize for not calling back yet. Things are a little hectic.

February 16: Look at that Face

Today was a really good day. I still have a smile on my face. First, take a look at the picture... No tubes!!! Isn't he adorable?!? I can't help myself from staring at it. The tubes were out for only a short amount of time, but it was so great to be able to see him all free...and he seemed to love it. The reason we had his tubes out was b/c Ethan has been pulling out his feeding tube for the past 4 days, so Tracy decided that it was time to start running it through his nose instead of his mouth. I know this sounds gross (or it did to me anyways), but I guess when we start trying to bottle feed him, the tube will need to be through his nose until he gets the hang of eating. I also found out that they are planning to wean him from his cannula over the next couple of days. As a little test today, Tracy left his cannula out for 1/2 hour and he did great, making it pretty clear that he has a high chance of success once it's removed. So, we're slowly getting closer to being able to see that darling face tube-free forever! All these little steps are really helping it sink in that we may actually bring him home one day soon. I know, we still have a long haul, but still...every day is one day closer :)

In other awesome Ethan news, he also gained another 50 grams; his biggest one day weight gain to date. They also upped his feedings again; to 20ml. More steps in the right direction. As soon as he has enough weight on him and he can control his own body temperature, he'll be able to ditch the isolette for a open bassinet. I cannot wait. It will be easier to get access to him...and it will give Auntie Shell the opportunity to hold him...she's been patiently waiting for that day. It all seems to be within site now.

I was able to hold him for 3 hours this afternoon. It seems like it would be a long time, but it flies by so fast. He was so sweet and peaceful today, that I just couldn't let him go. As I was sitting there, Tracy and I were talking about Ethan and his progress. I built up the courage to ask her opinion on when she thought Ethan would be able to come home. We've never been able to get any response other than 'his due date', which I understand, there are a lot of variables in play. But Tracy was candid with me today. Of course, she started out by saying, this is is just an educated guess and anything could happen between then and now, blah, blah, blah, but she thinks with his progress and how he seems to tolerate everything they throw at him, she thinks early April, maybe even late March. It was just so nice to hear it! I told her about my wish of having him home by my birthday (March 25)... she said it may be a little agressive, but not completely unrealistic :) So, yes, it was a good day.

Quick Add On: I also uploaded a quick little video that Jon took yesterday. Ethan looks like he's smiling on it :) Had to share!

February 15: Big Weekend

Happy Valentines Day ...belated! I hope every one had a good weekend. We definitely did. Ethan not only hit the 2lb mark, but also went over 1000 grams for the first time! He had a 45 gram gain in one day and is up to 2lbs 3oz. I guess Jon holding him for 3 days in a row has had some positive effects on the little guy. We couldn't be happier with his weight progress. Before we know it he's going to be topping 3lbs! :) In other great Ethan news, he had a good day with fewer than usual drops in his breathing, so the doctors brought his air pressure down from a level 3 to a level 2. I was a little surprised (I say that alot don't I?) as he had been having quite a few episodes just earlier in the week. But he's doing great on the lower pressure and it was very comforting to see that his drops were still down at today's visit.

We had a big weekend of visitors at the hospital. Starting on Saturday, Larry and Theresa visited us from Milwaukee. They hadn't seen Ethan in 3 weeks. He has changed so much since then and I had such great pride being able to show him off to his Grandma and Grandpa. It makes Jon and I both feel more like a family to have family there, if that makes sense. Theresa, God bless her, brought us a bunch of frozen home-made dinners that we can just throw in the oven. We are set for at least a week!!

Sunday was a really good day as well. We drove Otis over to Jen's so Elliot and Otis could play (thank you Jen!) and then were off to the hospital. First, Nancy, who was in from Dallas, and Staci stopped by to see Ethan. We hadn't seen Nancy since before Christmas and Staci hasn't been able to stop by b/c she's been sick, so it was so good to see both of them. He was pretty alert and kept us all entertained with his smiles (I still swear they are smiles) and his rendition of a one-eyed pirate.

We then had a visit from Jody and Keith, who were at Prentice for their infant CPR class (they are due on May 8!!) It was fun catching up with them and we got to see how Jody's pregnancy is progressing. She looks so cute!! And to round out the day, Heather and Max stopped in to say hi. It was awesome to see everyone! Jody, Keith, Heather and Max were all there when I was holding Ethan, so he was passed out cold. He usually is when he is being held, he gets so comfy.

Thanks, everyone, for the visits. Jon and I loved it. Hopefully soon, we'll all get to hang out somewhere else other than the hospital, right?

Note: I do plan to put together another poll with new pictures. But it's getting late tonight, so look for it in the next couple of days. In the mean time, I've posted new pictures to the right. You'll notice that I snuck a picture of Otis in the Feb 13 album...I couldn't help myself. He's my baby too.

February 13: It's Dad's Turn!

Since Nicole has been sick for the past few days and hasn't been able to visit Ethan, this is Jon and I'll be posting for the first time today. My beautiful wife has done a great job with her writing and I have a tough act to follow.


Yesterday was the first time I was able to hold Ethan and the moment the nurse handed him to me, my heart melted. I know he had no idea what he was doing, but he was wide eyed and just kept looking up at me. While I was holding Ethan, his neonatal doctor Nana stopped by to give me the daily update. As usual, Ethan impresses the doctors and she honestly told me that they have no medical explanation to why he is doing so well considering his situation. Although, the doctor did give a bit of very disturbing news. I think Nicole has mentioned that one of Ethan's tests indicated bacteria in his urine but the doctors were not sure if the sample was contaminated during collection. Well, yesterday they finally got the catheter in!@! Seriously, his foot is only 1 1/2 inches long, you do the math! It's a good thing Ethan won't remember all of this! Other than this little drama, Ethan is doing just fine and the results from the testing are not back yet.


I decided to include a photo of the monitor than shows all of Ethan's stats. This is the monitor that we are constantly staring at and checking his signs. The top green zig zag line is Ethan's heart rate, the white line in the middle is respiration rate per minute and the bottom blue line is his oxygen saturation level. When he has his little breathing episodes, the Brady's, his respiration rate is the first to drop, followed by his heart rate and then his oxygen level dips, ...and then the bells start going off! Right now, the breathing episodes he has are normal for his age considering the little guy isn't supposed to be born for another 2 months!

Today I held Ethan for an hour and a half and enjoyed every minute of it. Again the nurses praise Ethan and told me how cute he is. Really, there's no need to tell me that, how could he be anything but cute when he has a mother like Nicole! Unfortunately, Nicole is still sick and I really hope she can make it to the hospital tomorrow. I know she's having Ethan withdrawal symptoms. Yesterday Ethan’s weight was 930 grams and last nights weight was 920 grams. I'm writing this at 11:30pm and just realized that they weighed him at 11pm so I'm calling to get the latest weight update! I'm on hold. And the new weight is...drum roll please...960 grams or 2 pounds, 3 ounces! Again, Ethan is doing great and continues to amaze us.

Well, daddy needs to try to get some sleep. While I can't keep up with Nicole's expert blogging techniques, I'll try to post more often. Again, Nicole and I thank everyone for all the love and support that we have received. The past 3 weeks have been the greatest of my life and Ethan has made me thankful for every moment.

February 11: I'm 2 Pounds!

Ethan broke 2 lbs yesterday! This was a huge personal milestone for Jon and I and we'll be breaking out the champagne soon...or Jon will since I'm not really allowed alcohol just yet. He's been gaining steadily every day and he's really filling out. OK, as filled out as 2 lb 'er can be. :)

When doing his checks yesterday, Ethan managed to pull his feeding tube all of the way out of his mouth. It had to replaced as it was no longer sterile, which meant our nurse had to pull the tape off that held the old tube in place. The poor little guy cried so loud! I was horrified that he was in pain. It was hard to take. But, it made me realize how much progress he has made. His crying is so loud now. Not so long ago, he couldn't make any noise but a little whisper, now, he is belting out these cries that you can hear from the hallway.

After the tape episode, we were able to kangaroo. He quickly settled down and we had another great afternoon. His breathing has evened out and he was having less drops than the couple of days prior, so it was all very peaceful.

I started getting sick last night after getting back from the hospital and today woke up feeling like hell; which means that I was not able to visit Ethan today and I may not able to see him tomorrow, depending on how things go. It's the first day that I've missed since he was born and it was hard. Although, I knew it is best for both him and I for me to get healthy before visiting again. I spent most of the day hopped up on Dayquil to keep myself from coughing fits. Fun, fun. My loss was Jon's gain. He finally got to hold him :) This was actually planned before I got sick, but made it a little easier for me to give him up. He finally was able to experience how great it is to hold our little boy. It's pretty amazing.

February 9: I Love My Daddy (and Mom does too)

We have a winner in the weekly Ethan Poll... "I Love My Daddy" won by 1 vote; with "My Diaper is Huge" coming in a close second. It was fun to watch the votes come in, thank you! We'll try another one at the end of the week.




So, I had a little bit of a rough weekend. I think the adrenaline that I was running on for the past couple of weeks wore off and I was left with exhaustion and anxiety...which caused a small, tiny meltdown. For the first time, I started thinking through the 'what if' scenarios. What if Ethan wouldn't have made it? What if there were complications? It was horrible. I hadn't let myself go there before and I totally stressed myself out. And if you know me well, you know that I shut down when I'm stressed out, which is exactly what I did over the past couple of days. So if you have called or emailed or reached out in any way and I haven't gotten back to you, I'm sorry. I will soon, I promise. :)

I am feeling better. Jon and I worked through it yesterday and in true Jon fashion, he was there to support me and make sure I was ok. I spent all of Sunday with Ethan while Jon sacrificed time with the little guy to organize our life. He spent time with Otis, filled my prescriptions and went shopping for the week. We also got the condo straightened up and the clothes washed, so everything is on track for a good week. I don't know what I would do without Jon... seriously.

On the Ethan front: he is putting on weight on a regular basis now and it is showing. He could hit the 2lb mark by tomorrow! Jon has a bottle of champagne chilling for the occasion :) His little belly is getting all chubby and his cheeks are filling out. His head is definitely growing as well. He's looking more like a full term newborn every day. He is staying awake for longer periods of time. And you can really hear him now, whether he has little sneezes or hiccups, or an all out fit of crying. I can't help it, I love it when he cries even, cuz it's so cute. He continues to impress his doctors and nurses. Both Jon and I, on separate visits today, were told that his progress is extraordinary for a baby born at his age. Both updates came with reiterations that this is the exception, not the norm. It's common that there are problems, some of which the babies grow out of. But he's had none (knock on wood)...When they think they see a problem pop up, it just goes away on it's own or becomes a non-issue. We can't hear this enough. We are very lucky. And when I have one of my little 'meltdowns' in the future, I'll try to keep this all in mind :)

February 6: The Little Wiggle Worm

I didn't have the energy last night to type an update. I think all of the nights of getting up every 2 1/2 to 3 hours to pump and the flurry of the days and hospital visits have caught up with me. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. I know new moms that get to bring their little ones home after just 3-4 days in the hospital most likely get less sleep than I do since they are up with the baby at all hours. It's just that I'm a little worn down right now and don't quite know how to re-energize.

I seriously don't know where the time goes these days. I feel like I'm constantly running and am against a deadline...but what or who's deadline? I guess I feel guilty if I am at home and not at the hospital, but then at the end of the day when we are heading home from the hospital, I'm thinking about how much laundry is piling up on the bedroom floor, or that our condo is slowly growing this layer of dust on the shelving and dirt on the hardwoods and it grosses me out. We haven't gone grocery shopping since before Ethan was born, so every night is a hodge podge of whatever we can find to put together. Oh, well, like I said before, I'm not complaining. Just tired. I can't even imagine how Jon feels these days, since he is balancing work as well. Although, he doesn't have to get up every 3 hours at night...unless I wake him up. :)

On the Ethan front: he has gained weight since Thursday and is now up to 1lb 14 oz, just 1 oz away from his birth weight. I think we're going to have a little party when he surpasses 2 lbs. Our primary nurse, Tracy, was again working when I arrived yesterday. She had found a little preemie shirt in the hospital's stash that looks like it may just almost fit Ethan. She snatched it for him and we are going to take some pictures of him in it on Monday. She thought it would be fun for us and everyone who reads this to see him in real clothes. She also said he had been pretty active during the day. She had come in to check on him earlier and he was sprawled out sideways in his isolette. At the moment that we were talking through this, he was in classic Ethan pose, with his little leg thrown over his positioning blankets. I thought babies liked to be swaddled??

In not so good news, Ethan was having more frequent drops in heart rate called bradies and oxygen saturation called desats (I think I have this right). He has them once in awhile and they are normal as he just forgets to breathe. We just poke his foot or shake him to remind him to take a breath. But yesterday they were more frequent and his breathing was shallow, like he was struggling a little. He wasn't as peaceful as he had been the last couple of days. Tracy thought he may be anemic, since he was a little pale, so she had sent some of his blood over to be tested. Anemia is common in preemies. They get a lot of blood tests and sometimes their little bodies can't produce enough red blood cells to keep up. They sometimes need blood transfusions.

While we waited for the test to come back, Tracy said we could kangaroo. If he started having episodes, we'd have to put him back. We got all set up for our 1 1/2 hour snuggling session. It warmed my heart to hold him and during his time with me, he did not have 1 drop. He mostly stayed at 95-100 sat (100 being perfect). His breathing became more deep, not as shallow as it had been earlier. It made me feel like I really do make a difference! He made a lot of little cooing noises just as he had the day before. I'm starting to be able to let myself dream of when he will come home with us and I can hold him like this all of the time, it makes my heart ache a little.

Once our time was up, we got him all settled back in and ready for his visitors. Shell and Marisa were both stopping by and Jon was ready to visit again too. Ethan was pretty restless. He kept moving himself out of position and throwing his head back into what looked like a very uncomfortable position. He wasn't cooperating with me and my hopes to have him all cuddled in and looking pretty for his visitors. Shell and Marisa arrived and Jon shortly followed. He still had his head thrown back. We tried to reposition him several times, but he would have none of it and would turn his head in the opposite direction to show us that he was the boss. So, he never was in a position to get a good look at his face or little belly, but it was still good to have both MM and Shell there. Next time, I hope he'll behave a little better.

While they were there, the test results came back. Ethan is not anemic, his red blood cell count looked good. His white blood cell count was also good, so there was no infection. The pediatricians who came to talk to us said that they are just chalking it up to his age and premature age. I was happy to hear all of this, but was still uncomfortable that he was having so many episodes in one day. You kinda want an answer for why things are happening. I'm hoping he was just having a bad day and will be back to normal today.

After Shell and MM left, Ethan got even more active and was pushing himself around on his blankets. It seemed like he wasn't comfortable and it was affecting his breathing even more. Jon and I tried to help him into position, but weren't able to snuggle him in as well as the nurses can, so we called the night nurse over to help. She got him all set up and put up blanket boundaries so he couldn't move much and used the little blanket that has straps on it to keep him snuggled in. He fought a little to get his arms free, but soon settled in and his breathing deepened and his oxygen sat stabilized out. He was feeling more comfortable and we were relieved to be able to leave him that night with him breathing better.

I have to take a moment to give a heartfelt thank you to all who have called, visited us, sent emails and are following this blog. We are very lucky to have such great friends and family. Everyone has offered to help and we appreciate all of the gestures. Just wait, I'm sure we'll take you up on that one day :) I am especially grateful to Shell, who is there with us every day. She is truly the best auntie ever. And to Staci, Jen and Marisa, who have all have volunteered for Otis duty. In all of the drama, our little (ok, not so little) puggle is getting the shaft in this whole deal... I feel so bad that we are never home. So when we can ship him off with one of them for a period of time, it gives me peace of mind. He gets to play with their dogs, has a great time and comes home all tired. We cannot thank you guys enough for this. He will probably end up more spoiled than ever, but that's ok.

February 5: The Weekly Ethan Poll

Before I get into today's update, I would like announce the new weekly "Ethan Poll", which can be found over on the right --> -->. Here's the plan...every Friday, we'll post our top 4 fav pictures from the past week and will ask you to vote on which one you like best. Which ever wins will become the header picture for the following week. We'll pick a new winner each Sunday night, so be sure to cast your vote before the deadline! :)

Today we marked the 2 week anniversary of Ethan's birth. It was yet another good day. I know I have said that every day, but really, every day that he goes without a set back is a good day. One of our primary nurses, Tracy, was there when I arrived. Let me first say that all of the nurses are wonderful, but we have become close to Tracy in a short amount of time. She loves Ethan so much; it's very apparent. All nurses have their own ways of handling the babies and have their opinions on what is best for them. I guess you could say that Tracy meshes with mine and Jon's personalities really well. I feel the most at ease when she is there.

Tracy hadn't been in our bay for a few days so I was pretty excited to see her and she was to see me as well. She followed me into Ethan's pod and gave me the daily update and gushed over how cute he is (maybe this is why I like her so much). Right away, she asked me if I wanted to kangaroo. Hell, yeah I did. She suggested that we try 2 hours today. I was elated. She strongly believes that the best thing for Ethan is skin to skin contact with his mom or dad so she doesn't like to restrict kangaroo time unless Ethan's stats are off (ok, yet another reason I like her, you can probably see why she has risen to one of the top nurses in our book so quickly). So, for 2 days in a row, I got to hold my little boy. We spent 2 very peaceful hours together just chillin and cuddling. He is starting to find his voice and was cooing and making little sigh noises while he snuggled in. It was yet another defining moment. I'm a very lucky mom.

Once we got him settled back into his isolette, it was time for a visit from Auntie Shell. Shell and I spent a good chunk of time just staring at him. She hadn't seen him in a couple of days and he had changed so much and she was taking it all in. It was during this time, we realized that he had a poopie diaper. Tracy was gone for the day by this time, so I found our night nurse and told her about the situation. She was helping another baby, so I cockily told her that I could change his diaper on my own, no problem. I came back and told Shell the news. She looked impressed. We got out his diaper and a wet wipe. Tracy had switched him back to the smaller diapers that morning, obviously also thinking that the old man diaper of yesterday looked ridiculous. Once set up, I started the process. I got the new diaper under the old and got the dirty one off. I wiped his little fat free butt and got him all settled in ok. This is where things took a bad turn. I realized at that point why they had the bigger diaper on him. Although, he hadn't put on much weight, the girth of his belly was now much bigger. To fasten the velcro to the diaper so it fit correctly, I had to center the smaller diaper just so. This was a little stressful as I don't like moving Ethan too much....he's so little. So, after jostling him more than I think was necessary, I felt that I had him all positioned correctly. I was quite proud of myself until Shell and I looked down at the same time and realized that there was a stream of pee coming out of the side of his diaper and he was peeing all over his hand! Quickly, Shell got me another diaper and wet wipe. I tried soaking up the pee puddle as fast as I could while trying to hold back his little hand so I could clean it before he attempted putting it in his mouth, all the while Shell was suggesting to me that next time, I should make sure his little penis is facing down so this doesn't happen again. Seriously? The little guy doesn't have that much to try to position at this point in his life...although you might not have known this by the amount of pee that had come streaming out. I was all nervous and fumbly as I couldn't get the diaper centered enough to make it fit. So, Shell stepped in to help...she was on one side and I on the other trying ensure that everything was positioned just so. Yes, it took two of us to change the diaper of a 1lb 12oz baby. Finally, we felt that we had it. I was sweating! I had definitely failed the dirty diaper test and will need to put in some practice before attempting a change without a nurse present. Poor little Ethan weathered our bungling fairly well... he was a little upset, but quickly got over it once his dry diaper was in place and I cupped his head with my hand. The nurse came in at that time and we had to fess up that things didn't go well. He had wet his bedding, so she had to step in to clean up the mess we helped make. I'm sure she wished she would have come in to help us earlier. :)

We're looking forward to a fun day tomorrow. Jon will most likely get to resume his visits as he is starting to feel a little better and shouldn't be contagious anymore. It hasn't been the same without him there with us. We're also looking forward to a visit from Marisa tonight :)

February 4: It's a belly button!

We had another good day today with quite a few victories...big and little. The first: Ethan got the IV taken out of his arm. They had only stopped feeding him through the IV yesterday, so I was surprised when they made the decision to take it out completely. I'm just hoping they are able to keep it out! It is such a relief to know there are no more needles poking into him. They also started fortifying his milk today to boost his calories and tomorrow they are upping his intake from 15ml to 17ml. Another progression I wasn't expecting as they had explained to me that 15ml was a 'full feed' for his weight. He did gain 10 grams since yesterday, but I didn't think that would be enough as he has been at heavier weights. Who would have thought that 10 grams would be significant, but if you only weigh 800 grams total, I guess this is big news!

In other big news, the scab on his belly button finally fell off and it looks so cute (the belly button, not the scab). He has a little outie. :) I was relieved to see it fall off...it was pretty disgusting to look at. I can now admit that I had this horrifying vision throughout my pregnancy that Ty (my cat) would stalk our son until it fell off and he then would run off with it. I have had this thought for years actually...ever since the 'Sex and the City' episode where Miranda's cat ate Brady's belly button scab...you know the one I'm talking about? ack. I guess if I can find a positive in our situation it is that Ty had no chance of this scenario ever playing out.

Ethan also graduated up a diaper size. Not because of his huge 10gram growth spurt, but because he is soaking through all of the smaller diapers and this way, he makes less of a mess for the nurses :). His new diapers come up past his belly button and up to shoulder blade on his back and are quite ridiculous looking (see above picture). They make him look even more like a little old man than before...now he is a (cute) little old man that has pulled his pants up too high. Even with old man syndrome, he is getting more adorable day by day. He was more alert than ever toay and spent the majority of our visit with his eyes open and following my voice. It was awesome.

And last, but the best, news of all...I got to kangaroo with him today. Unfortunately, Jon has come down with an ugly cold and will have to miss a few visits. So, it was just Ethan and Mom's day of bonding today. When getting us all set up, the nurse forgot to put a little cap on him, which is usually a must to keep him warm. I probably should have reminded them, but without his cap, I was able to smell and kiss his little head. His hair is so soft and he smells so good, I couldn't even hardly stand it. To make up for lack of hat, I made sure to keep his head cradled in my hand to keep him warm. It was pure bliss. I also was able to feed him while he was lying on me, although still through a tube. The hope is that he will start to associate mealtime with my smell and the sound of my heartbeat. He was totally snuggled in and we had an hour and 20 minutes together before he had to go back to his isolette. I have to say, it is getting harder and harder to give him up at the end of each day.

In other news: the bacteria in his urine has turned out to be a non-issue, but now they say that they are seeing high glucose (sugar) levels. This could be mean anything from that fact that he had a stressful day and because of this, his body didn't absorb the glucose or it could be b/c his kidneys are not yet fully developed and they will need to keep an eye on it. They will be running yet another test on Monday before making any definitive decisions on how to handle. Also, we got his brain ultra sound back. This was a huge one as most babies born at Ethan's age have some level of bleeding. We were hoping for minimal of course, so were thrilled to find out that there was no bleeding...none what so ever! Another indication that he is just a little miracle.

Please continue to keep Ethan in your prayers! Obviously they are working so far!

Our Little Superman

It is estimated that Ethan will spend the next 11 weeks in NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). This is the standard answer to all parents of a preemie; expect your baby to stay until their due date. We are hoping for an earlier departure, but are trying not to get our hopes too high. Ethan is making it hard on us though. Ever since he was admitted, he has had almost all postive progress reports. In 12 days, he's gotten to the point that he's breathing on his own with only a small cannula that pushes air into his nose (to remind him to breathe) and has gotten rid of his billiband and blue light. Just today, he got to what the nurse called a 'full feed', which means he is no longer being fed through the IV that runs into his little arm, but getting all of his nutrition from milk. He cannot drink this on his own yet...it will take a few more weeks until his suck/swallow reflexes kick in, so he is being fed through a tube that runs down to his tummy. He loves it though and has been thriving, going into a little 'milk coma' after being fed. It's all very cute. All of these little steps forward are huge if you think that he should not even be breathing or digesting food on his own for another 8 weeks!

He has become a personaliy of sorts with the nurses in our NICU bay. Every day when we arrive, there is a new Ethan story. A couple of snippets for your amusement: On Sunday, he used his little super legs to push himself up to the top of his isolette, much to the doctors surprise. He also likes to turn his head by himself if he doesn't like the way he's positioned. If you try to keep him from doing so, he resists. It never fails to amaze me how much power the little guy has! He looks so fragile, but it's all a little ploy. Any my fav, if he's put on his stomach, he'll do a sort of downward dog position; he sticks his butt up in the air and wiggles it... already a little flirt. The nurses tease us that we will have our hands full once we get him home. I say, bring it.

We also get the standard stories I'm sure all parents go through in the beginning, but they still amaze us. He didn't poop the first full week of his life, all very normal for a preemie, but I was a little obsessed about it all. Finally, late last week, he had his first poop ever. Never to do things half heartedly, he then continued to 'blow out' two more times, to the point that the nurses had to change all of his bedding. I was dying when I found this out. Do all moms get so excited about poops? I just can't help myself :)

Our best moment yet was definitely last Friday, when we were able to kangaroo. This is the "technical term" for skin to skin contact. It was not only the best moment I've had since he was born, but the best moment of my life, period. I can't express how I felt when they laid that tiny little guy on my chest for the first time. I could feel his heartbeat and his warmth and I melted. My life changed forever. He seemed to like it just as much as his stats were perfect the whole time he was with me. Auntie Shell came over for a visit and we were able to surprise her with this big milestone. She was just as emotional as we were! I had good intentions of giving Jon half of the time, but couldn't bring myself to move. So, I promised Jon that he would be able to hold him next time, which happened to be the very next day, but again I couldn't keep the promise. Next time, hon, I swear...ok, maybe the time after that... :)

With such a big weekend...the kangarooing and getting rid of the billiband and the big nose tube...there has been a bit of weight loss over the last couple of days. He was down to 1lb 12oz today. Not a big deal as he had a lot going on, but when his weight goes down, we cannot hold him. So, it's been a long couple of days since the last kangaroo. We're patiently waiting for the next opportunity. Until then, we spend as much time as we can with him. I've become completed addicted to the little guy and can lose an hour just sitting by his isolette staring at him while he's sleeping. How life can change in a moment, right?

___________________________________________

February 3, 2009:

Jon and I just got back from our daily hospital visit. It continues to amaze me that there are changes in Ethan every single day. Today, we noticed that his hair has grown and his hairline is more prominent. I love that he has a full head of hair. I can't imagine how much he would have had if he went to full term!! His eyes are also more alert and bright. He still sleeps most of the day, but when he is awake, he is looking around and follows my voice. I swear he smiles when I talk to him... rationally, I know that is not possible yet, but sometimes being rational is boring. He also looks less 'wrinkly'. Although, I think the monkey look works for him (see pics from Feb 1: such a monkey!!)

On a progress report: they noticed bacteria in Ethan's urine. Before Ethan's birth, we found out that he had a multicyst dysplastic kidney, which basically means there is little to no functionality in the right one. At the time, little did we know that in a month's time, this would be the least of our concerns. But because of this, they are watching his urine output closely, thus the bacteria was noted. Either way, this won't be a huge issue, he'll just have to go on antibiotics again. They are not sure if this is a true reading or a contaminated test result, so our nurse, Jody, has been trying to get another urine sample. First,they tried a catheter...the poor guy, the tube was almost bigger than he was! So, attempt failed. Next, Jody tried putting a bag over his little unit. When she opened his diaper, he started peeing in her direction as if on cue. She quickly covered up and was thankful there was plastic wall between her and the stream coming right at her. She tried again, only to have him start peeing her way again. She closed it. 4 times in a row this happened before she finally got the bag positioned. :) Seriously, if we didn't know better, it would seem like he knew what he was doing. We hope this latest valiant attempt by Jody will work and if so, we'll have the test results tomorrow morning.

Visitors today: Auntie Shell.

January 22, 2009 - The Big Day

Thursday was rough. Although, looking back now it's all such a blur. I had called Shell, my sister, at about 7am and told her the news. She insisted she come and stay with us if we were alright with the idea. Alright? It was a welcome diversion for both Jon and I. She showed up an hour later with movies, books, magazines and Trivial Pursuit. It was great.

Jon, Shell and I settled in for a long day.

Dr B arrived early, looked at my vitals that were tracked throughout the night and stated that I had been contracting all night, much to the night nurses dismay. We also found out I was 2 cm dialated. Again, things were becoming more and more real, really fast. Dr B stated that she didn't think we'd make it to evening. She hoped so, but it didn't look realistic.

The rest of the day I just focused on getting by.... every 1/2 hour I could hold on was like a little victory, for me, Jon and the bevy of nurses and doctors that were constantly checking on me. For someone who has never spent a day in the hospital, it was all very surreal and overwhelming. Shell and Jon did their best to keep me entertained as I tried to focus on the pain, which I was now supposed to be monitoring. Jon was enthralled by all of the machines that monitored not just me, but all of the women in labor and delivery at that specific time. He especially enjoyed tracking contractions and compared mine to others, not hesitating to let me know that I wsan't in as much pain as the women in room X. Shell and I quickly (but lovingly) dubbed him Dr Koelsch. In the midst of some pretty powerful contractions, I decided I needed a serious distraction. We amused (horrified?) the nurses by pulling out the trivial pursuit game. Although I couldn't actively play due to concentration issues, I made it a rule that if I knew the answer that I could just shout it out and it would count. It helped me keep my mind off of things and helped Jon win by getting 2 pie. :) To be fair to Shell, we didn't finish the game. My contractions were getting stronger and closer together and the game was starting to bother me, so I made them quit.

It was about this time that I had one particularly bad contraction and BAM! I swear I felt a foot come through! I gasped and the nurses went into serious mode. I was examined quickly and had an ultrasound. Ethan was still breech and I was 3 1/2 cm dialated. Dr B was called and all of a sudden my room was filled with people, prepping me and talking me through next steps. They were moving forward with a C-Section based on the information the doctors had explained to me earlier...that although they would prefer to wait as long as they could for the steroids and magnesium to set in, if I were to dilate anymore or a foot really did come through, it would quickly become an emergency situation. They would rather go early and lose the extra time, but be able to control the situation. That was it, my time was up. I don't think I really thought this moment would come so soon. Jon, Shell and I were all crying. Shell, who adamantly had said she didn't want to be in the room for the birth, all of a sudden changed her mind and asked if she could. With the C-section, she couldn't and I could see the anxiety on her face. It must have been hard on her to be left behind. I, on the other hand, totally checked out. They stripped me and prepped me with the spinal tap thing... I couldn't feel anything and I didn't want to. I did everything in my power to leave my body and not go through the next steps. Jon, on the other hand, kept up his end of the bargain by being my rock and remaining calm throughout. He was there holding my hand and kissing my forehead. He even stood up and was able to look as Ethan was pulled out of my stomach. I'm pretty damn sure he saw much more than he bargained for, but he managed to keep his face composed as he knew I was watching him. Thank god for Jon.

Ethan was born at 4:18pm. He weighed a whole 1lb 15 oz and was 13.8 in length. We still hadn't decided on a name at this point and he wouldn't get his name until Friday morning. The final deciding factor came down to two things: Staci had called or texted Jon at some point on Thursday, I can't remember exactly when to be honest, and had told Jon that she had researched a couple of names that were on our initial name list...Evan meant 'little fighter' and Ethan meant ' strong one'. I like both and seemed so appropriate. That night, I had a dream that his name was Ethan Jon. So, Friday at 5am, I woke up a very tired Jon with this news and asked him if it was ok with the name in my dream. Jon was touched that I wanted to use his name as Ethan's middle name. It, to me, was a given. Little Ethan needed his daddy's name for strength and support to get him through all he will face in the coming months. And that was that. Ethan Jon Koeslch had arrived and our lives are now forever changed.

Back to Thursday...Once they got Ethan breathing, they rushed him to NICU. Shell and Jon were able to visit Ethan on Thursday about 3 hours after he was born. I was pretty unstable from the drugs and no food for 24hours and well, everything that had happened. But I insisted on seeing him. Shell made it a point to tell my nurse that she shouldn't fight it, that I wouldn't take no for an answer. So, at 11pm on Thursday, I was wheeled up to NICU to see my son. He was so tiny, but perfect. I knew as soon as he grasped my finger that he would be ok, it was so strong and felt stable, if that makes sense. He is our little fighter. I'm a mom and aready, I cannot imagine life before Ethan. Is that possible?

Ethan 01-22-09

January 21, 2009 - The Defining Moment

My due date was April 25th, 2009. So, when I started having some weird cramping on Tuesday, Jan 20th, I tried not to let myself freak out too much. I had been having all sorts of round ligament pains throughout the pregnancy, so I tried to convince myself that this was all normal and the pains were just strengthening. Besides, I thought, I had my monthly doctor's appt on Thursday, Jan 22, so would talk to Dr B about this and a whole list of other concerns I was having. I had become a little hyper sensitive over the past couple of weeks and was more nervous than I had been through the first 5 months of my pregnancy. I was trying to rationalize with myself and attributed it all to the fact that things were becoming more real as my belly grew.

On Wednesday, I went into work and felt good. As the day progressed, the cramping started feeling different; more pronounced. I made a pact with myself that if the cramps were still there when I got home that night, I would call into my doctor to tell her about it. I finished the day, ran some errands, and by the time I got home and walked Otis, it was around 7pm. Jon had class so I was ready to settle in for the night and watch some bad TV when I noticed some bleeding. All of a sudden, the pretense of normalcy washed away and I was alarmed. I called into my doctors after hours number and got the doctor on call. He said that I shouldn't have any type of bleeding at 26 weeks and althought it may be nothing, I should check myself into Labor and Delivery as soon as possible and have the hospital call him once I was settled in. I called Jon immediately and luckily, caught him just as his class was taking a break. Jon left class immediately and in 20 minutes, we were headed to Prentice Hospital.

We tried to keep thing pretty light at first in an effort to support each other. I was starting to cramp more and more at this point but didn't want to freak Jon out any more than he already was, so tried to keep it to myself. We checked in around 8pm and shortly thereafter they had me in a gown and we were answering 100+ questions on everything pregnancy and medical history related. At this point, for some crazy reason I can't quite fathom now, we still thought that we would be going home that night sometime. When one of the doctors said she would be back in to check on us in 2 hours, both Jon and I were startled. We couldn't quite grasp this for some reason. But she was right and around midnight we were still there, waiting on the results from my examination. Things got real shortly there after when a doctor came in looking serious and nervous at the same time. She had my test results and said she was pretty sure that my water was ruptured. They were calling my doctor on call and were going to check the test results again just to make sure. But she kept using the words 'precarious situation' and 'serious'. She also said that no matter what happens, I wouldn't be going home until the baby was born. This is when the enormity of the situation hit both of us... The baby wasn't due for 3 months and 1 week!! This couldn't be happening. They immediately started attempts to hold off labor. They injected me with steroids to help Ethan's lungs develop faster 'just in case' and started a magnesium IV drip that is believed to hold off bleeding of the brain if things were to progress faster than everyone hoped for.

Next step: ultra sound. And ultra sound showed Ethan as breech. Another concerning situation. With my water broken, there was a possibility of infection; now with him breech, it added a whole other list of things to be concerned about. I felt like I was having an out of body experinece by now. We were exhausted and I was hooked up to so many wires and tubes, I couldn't move. Not like anyone would let me if I could. And then I had someone telling me to let them know if I ever felt that a foot was pushing through. What?!?!! A foot? Seriously? This was all so surreal. Jon was trying to hold it together for me, but I could see the wave of emotions playing through his face as his mind went through all scenarios presented to us at this time. None were good. Either our baby was going to be born alarmingly premature or they would be able to stop the labor and I would be bed ridden... in a hospital... anywhere from 1 week to 2 months.

Somewhere around 2am, the doctor on call from my ob/gyn's practice came in and gave us the full run down. He was staying over night just in case labor hit. They now didn't think I'd make it through the night. They really were hoping to stave off labor for 48 hours; which would give the full doses of steroids and magnesium time to enter my system and give Ethan a better chance and less risk. Then came the stream of specialists all giving us details of what their role would be and all possible scenarios we may face with a baby born at 26 weeks, 5 days. It was all a blur and I started blocking everyone out. All I wanted was to be alone with Jon so we could absorb the situation together.

We settled in for what became the longest night ever. They had my bed positioned so my feet were above my head and I had to be on my side. The magnesium made me really hot and nauseated. I did almost fall asleep a couple of times, but just when this was about to happen, a nurse would wake me up to check my vitals. At some point, Jon had to run home to take care of Otis and pick up some essentials. I felt so alone when he was gone and just watched the clock the whole time. When the sun came up, we were both relieved for so many reasons. 1) we had made it through the night without going into labor and 2) we were able to start making calls to our parents, family and close friends alerting them to the situation. It felt really good for both of us to talk to those closest to us and feel their support.

Welcome to Ethan's Page

Welcome to Ethan's page. Jon and I have created this page to provide updates on Ethan Jon Koelsch, who was born on January 22, 2009; 13 1/2 weeks before his due date. Although we had our initial doubts, he is doing his best to prove to us that he is ready for this crazy world, whether we are prepared or not. We will do our best to post timely updates, pictures and videos on his progress. We hope that you visit often and look forward to receiving notes from you all.

Before jumping in, we want to take this opportunity to thank all of our friends, family and co-workers for the outpouring of love and support that we've received over the past 2 weeks. It has been overwhelmingly touching and has gotten all of us...Jon, Ethan and I... through some pretty stressful and scary situations. I truly believe that Ethan is thriving due to all of you and your prayers. Please keep them coming.